Good Friday Evening…time for the funnies!
Let’s start with a couple of non-cartoons funnies first. I have seen people posting things like this on Facebook since Wednesday: Little Green Footballs – Hilariously Crazed Wingnut Rant of the Day
Today, I instructed my wife to prepare for post Obama election by doing the following:
1. Close out our bank accounts, checking accounts, savings account.
2. Eliminate and exist from all medical service programs, insurance, and destroy all medical records and ID numbers.
3. Destroy and toss all cell phones.
4. Take out and smash all black boxes in our vehicles. Will put on the road my 69 mustaang.
5. Cut up all credit cards and call to stop all transactions.
6. Call and stop propane gas shipments, will now burn firewood. Already have more than 500 cord stacked as a backup.
7. Buy only the bare necessaities and pay all bills with a money order.
8. Plan all travel areas, use back roads to avoid TSA agents.
9. Do not use landline telephone only in an emergency.
10. Call and turn off Direct TV.
11. End all computer web services.
12. Build a gate at the end of our driveway and keep it locked. Inform all friends and relatives to call first prior to a visit so the gate can be unlocked.
13. Get involved more heavily with local Tea Party to establish a third party, no more money to the GOP under any circumstance!
The list may be updated to include other more secret actions that the government need not know about here!
I hope he remembered to instruct wifey to lay in a supply of toilet paper. It’s the little things that matter most in a sealed bunker.
As for the GOP themselves? They are reaching out in desperation as well: Republicans Consider Welcoming People Who Believe in Math and Science : The New Yorker
According to Borowitz…
Opting for a bold “big tent” strategy to rebuild the party, Reince Priebus, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, told reporters today, “We need to welcome people who believe in different things than we do, like math and science.”
After disappointing results in Tuesday’s election, Mr. Priebus said that it was time for Republicans to become “more tolerant of those with a math-and-science lifestyle.”
“Just because we don’t believe in those things doesn’t mean we can’t get along with people who do,” he said. “We want to send this message: math and science Americans are Americans, too.”
In the biggest departure from its previous electoral strategy, Mr. Priebus said, the Republican Party is “even considering trying to appeal to women.”
“I read recently that women are as much as fifty-one per cent of the population,” he said. “That number sounded crazy high to me, but maybe one of our new math Republicans can check on it for us.”
And on with the show…