Finally Friday Reads: The Gender Chasm

“Kamala is correct. Trump rallies are really a sight to behold. Everyone should watch at least one. Pro-tip, they’re getting more and more entertaining.” John Buss, @repeat1968

Good Day, Sky Dancers!

When you watch and read as much news as I do, you can’t help but notice that every political act committed by DonOld these days is focused on young men. I believe that watching and listening to even a minimal amount of this has given me my first bout with acid reflux. I watched this segment on Alex Wagner last night. I had to endure a quick clip of Stephen Miller, who is an unpleasant, unattractive misogynist, racist, and xenophobe, which is this year’s Trump campaign outreach. “‘Infantile, petulant masculinity’: Trump aims low in appeal for American male ‘bro’ voters.” Are there really that many of them out there?

With a yawning gender gap in his base of support as a consequence of driving women away with his own words and behavior, Donald Trump appears to have made a strategy of wringing as much support as he can from American men, which has meant plumbing the depths of bro culture and encouraging a less-than-flattering version of masculinity. Michelle Goldberg, columnist for the New York Times discusses with Alex Wagner.

The funniest thing is watching Miller telling every male the best way to demonstrate you’re an Alpha is to wear your Trump goodies. Then, he goes on to mispronounce Beta. I can’t help but remember my first reading of Brave New World, as assigned in my 9th grade English class taught by a woman who also taught me swimming when I was a kid. Alphas are the intellectuals, while Betas are designed for physically demanding but not mentally challenging labor. I suppose Miller is referring to the hierarchy of the Apes, but wow, he sure comes off as a Gamma to me.

I enjoyed watching former President Barack Obama roast Donald Trump and contrast his inept and selfish behavior with that of the brilliant and caring Kamala. So, there are a lot of strange reads today about the strong comeback of the Gender Gap, which appears to be more like a Chasm. Let’s chuckle through them. Frankly, I prefer men with a less brutish approach to manhood, and I know you’re out there. We see you. Obama’s funniest line of the night is when he discusses the cost of diapers and doing the duty, then asks the audience if they thought Donald had ever changed a diaper. My Dad bombed NAZIs from a B-25 Bomber, and he changed diapers in the 1950s. Just consider Elon Musk going all on the Trump Campaign and that his businesses are generally as bankrupt-prone and in trouble with labor laws and anti-discrimination laws as the DonOld’s. DonOld can have Tech and Dude Bros because most women don’t want them. The ones with money attract gold diggers. The ones without are known as incels. It’s going to be a brutal 24 days.

This article and link to Longwell’s podcast is from Politico. Although, I think they’re turning to voting scams for victory. They’re just warming up the next group of J6ers .”‘They’ve given up on the idea that they can get women.’ How Trump is turning to the other gender gap for victory. A profound gender gap is shaping the 2024 election. And after listening to voters in hundreds of focus groups, Sarah Longwell thinks she knows why.”

The 2024 election — it’s a contest between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump. But increasingly, it also looks like it’s girls versus boys.

Poll after poll is telling the same story: a Times/Siena survey this month showing Harris up 16 with women and Trump up 11 with men; a set of Quinnipiac polls in Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin showing Harris winning women by about 20 points in each. Meanwhile, according to a running average by the election quants at Split Ticket, Trump is on pace to win men by an even bigger margin than he did in 2020 — by about 9 points nationally.

But those numbers only tell part of the story.

The other half is from the mouths of the voters themselves. Which is where this episode of the Playbook Deep Dive podcast begins.

Sarah Longwell is the publisher of The Bulwark and is well known for her work as a Never Trumper.

But what she does with the rest of her time is talk to voters. Lots of them. Longwell has conducted hundreds of focus groups — you may have heard some of them on her podcast, The Focus Group.

While many of Washington’s top operatives have been digesting the election through polling datasets, she’s been taking a different approach: just asking people straight up what they think about Trump and Harris and what could change their minds.

Playbook’s Rachael Bade caught up with Sarah in her downtown Washington offices on Thursday and asked her to connect the dots from all of these hundreds of focus groups. In so doing, she laid out the stakes for what is arguably the biggest question of the 2024 election:

Why are men and women veering so far apart politically?

The answers to that may surprise you.

The Independent‘s Kelly Rissman has this analysis. “Inside the Trump campaign’s ‘edgy’ and crass approach to appeal to young men and ride them to victory.’ The Trump campaign’s crass language, wavering abortion stance, and sexist remarks about Harris have been a focus for Democrats.”

Donald Trump has proclaimed himself the “protector” of women but the tone of his messaging has become geared toward young men with crass language and put-downs in hopes the bloc will back him in November – despite the former president potentially isolating women voters.

“Alphas for Trump,” Steven Cheung, a campaign spokesperson recently tweeted, “vs Simps for Kamala.”

This seven-word tweet perhaps encompasses Trump’s years-long immersion into a stereotypical “tough” alpha male figure — a brand that some have described as “toxic masculinity.” In 2019, the then-president even tweeted a photoshopped image of himself as Rocky Balboa. Since then, he seemingly has tried to ingratiate himself into the real version of the fictional sports legend.

He has steeped himself in cryptocurrency, surrounding himself with tech bros and UFC fighters, using sexist terms to describe his Democratic rival, enters the rally stage to the Village People song “Macho Man,” all while his running mate disparages “childless cat ladies.” It could be costing him half of the electorate.

“It’s obvious Republicans have a woman problem, but it’s not just about policy differences like abortion. The GOP gender gap is just as much about how you talk about those differences,” Nachama Soloveichik, a GOP strategist and former adviser to Haley’s presidential campaign, told the Washington Post.

Soloveichik continued: “Regardless of gender, any political staffer with a pea-sized brain should know chasing away half the electorate is a bad idea. Talk to women with respect and understanding even when you disagree.”

Not only has the Republican nominee has appeared alongside “bro-y” celebrities, such as retired wrestler Hulk Hogan, wrestler-turned-YouTuber Logan Paul, Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) chief executive Dana White, and podcaster Theo Von, but his campaign spokesperson Steven Cheung was also formerly a spokesperson for the UFC.

There’s never anyone on the Trump list of celebrities that I label anything other than grrrRoss. I can even remember how I used to say it with my 6th-grade voice while wrinkling my nose. This is also from Politico. “Inside Trump’s push to win over the ‘bro’ vote. But can he get young men to vote?”

Donald Trump is betting that support from young men will help propel him to the White House. And he’s getting an assist from a crew of pro-Trump millennial pranksters who are capitalizing on college football tailgates, Tinder and even the “Hawk Tuah Girl” podcast.

The Nelk Boys, digital content creators and hosts of the popular “Full Send” podcast, are mounting a multi-million-dollar voter registration push aimed at turning out young men. They plan to sign up voters at a “Send the Vote” music festival later this month that will feature a performance by pro-Trump rapper Waka Flocka Flame, and at a pair of Penn State football games.

They will also promote the registration drive on dating apps and advertise on highly-listened to, male-friendly podcasts like “Kill Tony,” “MrBallen,” and “BS w/ Jake Paul.”

It’s the latest effort in an all-out campaign by the former president to turn out young men, a demographic his campaign views as critical to his election given the overwhelming support Kamala Harris is expected to receive from young women. The question the Trump operation faces, however, is whether it can turn out a subset of voters his allies concede are uncertain to cast ballots.

“The question is, will that podcast fan, that College GameDay fan, that USC fan, will they actually get up on November 5th and go and vote?” said John Shahidi, the president of Full Send and the co-founder of Send the Vote. “That’s the big question right now that we want to start emphasizing on and putting pressure on.”

One voter registration promo is expected to run on a podcast hosted by Haliey Welch, who rose to viral internet stardom with a sexually explicit riff. And, in the heart of football season, the Nelk Boys are exploring the possibility of advertising on sports gambling sites.

By reaching out to young men, some of whom came of age during the former president’s administration, Trump, who long before running for office had cultivated an alpha-male like image with his involvement in sports and entertainment, is capitalizing on goodwill from a demographic he hopes will support him. And there are indications Trump is making inroads with the group, which like other youth subsets traditionally tilts liberal. According to a recent Harvard Youth Poll, 35 percent of men between 18 and 24 years old said they supported Trump — an improvement of 5 percent from Trump’s performance in the same survey in the 2020 election.

I have no idea what any of this is, but I am obviously not in that demographic. My youngest son-in-law has a birthday tomorrow, but I have a good idea that he doesn’t know about either. He’s a biological engineer and has a life. I’m sure the older one, who is a Radiologist and does ultrasounds a lot, wouldn’t know or care. However, former President Obama spoke out to black men in his speech last night in Pittsburgh. This is from the Washington Post. “Obama admonishes Black men for hesitancy in supporting Harris. Former president suggests some in the Black community are uncomfortable voting for a woman and are coming up with excuses.”  I think the headline is harsh compared to what I heard, but legacy media always looks for clicks.

Former president Barack Obama on Thursday made a direct, impassioned plea to Black men to support Vice President Kamala Harris — a key demographic she is struggling to mobilize — admonishing them for thinking about sitting out the presidential contest as well as suggesting sexism might be at play.

During an unannounced stop at a Harris campaign field office in Pittsburgh, just hours before he was set to appear at his first campaign rally for the Democratic nominee, Obama said he wanted to “speak some truths” and address Black men specifically, making his most direct remarks about their hesitancy in supporting Harris to date.

“My understanding, based on reports I’m getting from campaigns and communities, is that we have not yet seen the same kinds of energy and turnout in all quarters of our neighborhoods and communities as we saw when I was running,” Obama said, adding that it “seems to be more pronounced with the brothers.”

Obama questioned how voters, and Black voters specifically, could be on the fence about whether to support Harris or former president Donald Trump, the Republican nominee.

“On the one hand, you have somebody who grew up like you, knows you, went to college with you, understands the struggles and pain and joy that comes from those experiences,” Obama said, ticking off a list of Harris’s policy proposals. In Trump, he added, “you have someone who has consistently shown disregard, not just for the communities, but for you as a person … And you are thinking about sitting out?”

The former president then spoke about what he thought might be contributing to Black men’s soft support of Harris: the discomfort of some with the idea of electing the first female president.

“And you’re coming up with all kinds of reasons and excuses, I’ve got a problem with that,” he said. “Because part of it makes me think — and I’m speaking to men directly — part of it makes me think that, well, you just aren’t feeling the idea of having a woman as president, and you’re coming up with other alternatives and other reasons for that.”

Meanwhile, we see Harris’ husband and her running mate, Tim Walz, emulate a more compassionate version of manliness. Perhaps this kind of role-modeling from powerful men will take hold. This is from Time Magazine, as analyzed by Belinda Luscombe. “The Doug Emhoff Model of Masculinity.”

Society has names for men they feel are overshadowed by their wives or partners, and they’re not terms of endearment; cuck, p-whipped, and simp are among the nicer ones. As women’s economic and social power has risen, some men have felt that theirs has receded, and have responded by doubling down on machismo. Masculinity has become contested ground. So when Doug Emhoff took to the stage to talk about his wife Kamala Harris at the Democratic National Convention, he had to walk a fine line: gushy without being slavish, supportive but not submissive, a true partner but completely self-sufficient.

Fewer than half the countries in the world have ever had female heads of state, and many of those women were unmarried, so there are not a lot of models for how to be the husband of the lady who might become the leader of the free world. Emhoff’s speech was a benchmark. How does a man handle this? How does a man talk about a strong ambitious woman gunning for arguably the most powerful job in the world, without making her look a nightmare or a nonentity? And without himself appearing to be a buffoon or puppet master?

Emhoff—and his speechwriters and his son Cole—pretty much nailed it. When he stepped down from the stage, he had given a little master class in how to be a guy’s guy as wellas a wife guy. First, he telegraphed that he was dependent on no one. He’d done name-tag jobs at McDonald’s and the valet stand when he needed to. He had partly put himself through college but wasn’t too proud to admit he had help. He had a successful career with skills that involved de-escalating rather than dominating situations.

He demonstrated a winning self-confidence by making fun of the goofy nervous first-date voicemail he left on Harris’ phone, and joking about his mother being the only person in the world who thinks Harris married up. Unlike many a divorced dad, he showed no bitterness to his ex-wife, even thanking her from the stage. While Harris’s opponents have tried to make her laugh seem bizarre or sinister, he named it as one of the things he loves most—because normal men aren’t freaked out by women who laugh.

Emhoff’s presentation also subtly played up his more traditional masculine traits. A photo from Cole’s video introduction showed how protective he was when someone threatened Harris. Emhoff let it be known that he belongs to a fantasy football league with buddies from back in the day, and that in his youth he was a fan of both The Clash and Nirvana, both classic angry-young-man bands. He slid in mentions of his ability to pivot and to sacrifice, by leaving a law practice when Harris became vice president and taking a job at Georgetown University.

In fact, many of the masculine attributes that Emhoff leaned into during his speech are similar to those also valued by conservatives: strength, pride, courage, industriousness, protecting families. In some ways, President Trump’s running mate J.D. Vance has many of the same qualities. He too came from humble beginnings, put himself through school, thrived, and married a woman who was more his equal than his helpmeet. But Emhoff—and Tim Walz, Harris’ partner in this campaign—are projecting those qualities while playing second fiddle to a woman. They’re not allowed to outshine the nominee, but they also can’t make her look like a harridan.

Emhoff’s exuberant support of his wife’s strengths (“Empathy is her superpower,” he noted) has definitely touched a nerve with some women. “THIS is a supportive husband! He gets it. Doug do you have a brother? Cousin? BFF?” asked one woman on Instagram. “If anyone would like to set me up on a blind date with the 33-45 year old NYC-based equivalent of Doug Emhoff, my DMs are open,” tweeted another. It wasn’t just among women either; there was a spate of “Teach me how to Dougie” tweets from guys as well.

I will not venture into the J Dank Vance model of weird masculinity, but I will mention Tim Walz’s impact by showing a fuller version of what it means to be a man, husband, and father. I really like this coverage by the Chicago Sun-Times, which was published around the convention. “Tim Walz is a man’s man, unlike MAGA’s man-children. A good male role model from the Democrats is an excellent foil for the cartoon version of masculinity on offer from the Republican Party.”  This Op-Ed is written by Mona Charen. (Yes, THAT Mona Charen.)  I’ve put in the complete piece because she handles J Dank better than I ever could.

If Kamala Harris becomes the first woman president, her first accomplishment could well have already happened — elevating and honoring the positive side of masculinity.

Tim Walz, whose politics are to the left of most Americans and certainly most swing voters, has been welcomed not as a box-checking, progressive pick, but as a Midwestern dad who poses with his hunting dog, served for 24 years in the military and coached the high school football team to a state championship. He’s a man’s man without being a strutting jackass. A good male role model is an excellent foil for the swaggering, snarling, cartoonish version of masculinity on offer from the Republican Party right now.

Men are struggling. Boys are falling behind girls in grades and graduation rates. Men are falling behind women in college attendance, participation in the labor force, and connection to family and friends. Men are more likely than women to be lonely and to succumb to deaths of despair. It’s not a man’s world anymore, even if some have been slow to notice.

Boys and men are picking up the signals that there is something inherently wrong with them. The word “masculinity” is hardly uttered in some precincts without the modifier “toxic.” Our culture has stressed girl power and female “firsts” long past the time when boys are the ones who are struggling. As Richard Reeves has noted, in 1972, the year Congress enacted Title IX to promote gender equity in higher education, the gender gap in college enrollment was 13 points in men’s favor. In 2019, the gender gap in bachelor’s degrees was 15 points the other way.

Men are feeling it. A Brookings Institution survey found that fewer Generation Z men call themselves feminists (43%) than do millennials (52%), and the gap between men and women on this self-ID is much larger for Gen Z than for older cohorts. Another sign of discontent is that nearly half of men aged 18 to 29 report that they face discrimination as men.

The right has a response that is reactionary, misogynistic and smutty. The party that once prided itself on traditional values now features at its convention, as David French put it, “an OnlyFans star, a man who publicly slapped his wife, a man who pleaded no contest to an assault charge, and another man who had sex with his friend’s wife while the friend watched — and that’s not even including any reference to Trump himself.”

Not content with being an adjudicated sexual abuser, Donald Trump continues to fill out his dance card with the vilest male “influencers” online, most recently sitting down for an interview with Adin Ross, most known for associating with accused rapist/human trafficker Andrew Tate and neo-Nazi Nick Fuentes. Trump knows there’s a longing for male affirmation out there and is choosing the very worst ways to satisfy it. His masculinity bears none of the hallmarks of manly virtue — restraint, honor, service to others, responsibility or self-sacrifice. Instead, he offers braggadocio, put-downs, disrespect for women and vulgarity.

Trump’s running mate has been fishing in these waters for several years and now trails a train of cringe-worthy quotations he must own. JD Vance chose to unburden himself to Tucker Carlson. “We’re effectively run in this country, via the Democrats, via our corporate oligarchs, by a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made. And so they wanna make the rest of the country miserable, too.” He then name-checked Harris, Pete Buttigieg and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

What’s offensive is not just that Vance is wrong about Harris or Buttigieg but that he would use such a personal matter as an opportunity for abuse. As Jennifer Aniston, who underwent years of fruitless fertility treatments, put it: “Mr. Vance, I pray that your daughter is fortunate enough to bear children of her own one day.”

I’m about as pro-natalist as you can get. I believe the government should be generous to parents through the tax code because children are an investment in the country’s future.

But leave it to MAGA to mar a completely benign idea like pro-natalism with contempt for others. Vance recycled his insights in a fundraising appeal: “We’ve allowed ourselves to be dominated by childless sociopaths — they’re invested in NOTHING because they’re not invested in this country’s children.” Really? George Washington and James Madison might like a word.

In the face of this brutalist version of masculinity, the Democratic Party is now honoring a different kind of man in Walz. The hunter/fisherman/veteran/football coach is no pajama boy.

Walz is a regular guy at a time when the country needs reminding that being a regular guy is actually pretty great. As The Atlantic put it, “Dad is on the Ballot.”

Harris’s selection of Walz gave rise to a whole genre of warm dad memes: “Tim Walz just slipped me a 20 on my way out the door because ‘you never know if some place doesn’t take credit cards.” Another posted that Walz would “(take) care of the wasps’ nest for you.”

What unites these posts is the sense of security and comfort they exude — the very things a good dad conveys.

Tim Walz may be the father figure the Democratic Party — and the country — needs.

This is a long set of reads but I think you’ll enjoy the contrast. I really hope we can leave the minds of J Dank and Donald in the footnotes of history. Let’s give our kids the future they deserve!

What’s on your reading and blogging list today?