The Patriarchy is Dead Bitchez! So Quit Complaining!
Posted: September 11, 2013 Filed under: War on Women, Women's Rights 8 CommentsI guess my paycheck last Friday didn’t get the memo on the death of Patriarchy. I wonder if either of my daughter’s noticed it?
I understand that the big picture is not always reflected in women’s daily experience of life. Maybe a woman has an overbearing husband or a retrograde boss or just a lingering problem that has no name. But as a collective, it sometimes feels that women look too closely at the spot right in front of us. This is a moment, unprecedented in history—and also pretty confusing—when young women who work how they want and have sex how they want may also quilt and can fruits. When working-class women who quietly leave the only steady paycheck on the kitchen table every week may still believe that a man is the God-ordained head of the household. So I want to tell these women who are seeing only oppression: Look around.
Dear Hanna Rosin. I am looking around. Down here in the ninth ward, it ain’t all rich white woman privilege, even–actually ESPECIALLY–if us bitchez have doctorates in such non traditional sectors as financial economics. Ever spend a day with the finance boyz club? My youngest is doing that now and they’re surprised she wants to be a trader and where the action is instead of being a cute marketing fixture at the corporate headquarters of TDAmerica. Then, let’s talk about my daughter the gynecologist who is trying to avoid a state where her medical degree counts for less than the odd predilections of the boyz in the state legislature.
A fun anecdote: a “well-educated” woman once dared to challenge Rosin at a reading. “Lucky for you that you have the luxury to agonize about your choices,” she said. “What about the woman who picks up your trash after you leave at 5?”
“This is when I knew I was dealing with some irrational attachment to the concept of unfair,” Rosin writes:
For my book I’d interviewed plenty of women who might find themselves picking up the trash, likely as a second job after a full day of school or another job, or both, because their husbands—or, more likely, the fathers of their children—were out of work. My young interrogator might be annoyed to learn that many of those women who pick up the trash yearn to bring back at least some aspects of the patriarchy. They generally appreciate their new economic independence and feel pride at holding their families together, at working and studying and doing things on their own, but sometimes they long to have a man around who would pay the bills and take care of them and make a life for them in which they could work less. And they want the men in their lives to be happy. It’s elite feminists like my questioner and me who cling to the dreaded patriarchy just as he is walking out of our lives.
Oddly, that woman is not the only “elite feminist” — the type of woman Rosin portrays in her book “as benefiting from the new era of female dominance, when women are better prepared for the current economy and have more independence to choose their life path” — who doesn’t agree with Rosin that women should stop whining about injustice. Why is that? Because some elite feminists are capable of caring about the majority of women who aren’t privileged enough to choose how often they want to work at what type of job. Rosin’s argument only makes sense if you pretend financial concerns and racism and sexism aren’t deal-breakers for most people — to do that, you either have no qualms about trolling to sell your book or you live in a fantasy world.
“I understand that the big picture is not always reflected in women’s daily experience of life,” Rosin writes. “Maybe a woman has an overbearing husband or a retrograde boss or just a lingering problem that has no name.” Some names: sexual assault and domestic violence statistics, abortion restrictions, the gender wage gap (which, hey, does exist for women who don’t look like Rosin).
If you’re not currently a CEO who is also an award-winning quilter, console yourself by searching the #RIPPatriarchy hashtag.
Gosh, what will you miss about the patriarchy?
We’re clinging to structurally reinforced sexism like a bad boyfriend, and it’s time to say, “See ya later, Patriarchy.” It’s been real. Thanks for all the good times.
We’ll never forget …
1. The 200 abortion restrictions passed since 2011, closing 58 (or roughly 1 in 10) clinics.
3. “Bikini bodies”; “baby bump debuts”; and “post-baby bodies.”
4. Thigh gap.
5. Juice cleanses.
6. Labiaplasty and/or other vaginal surgery.
8. Vajazzling.
9. Vajacials.
10. Vaginal-tightening cream.
11. Vaginal-bleaching cream.
12. Anal-bleaching cream!
13. Being called sluts.
14. Having no friends because we’re sluts.
15. Wondering if, when, and how we can “have it all.”
16. Never winning any prizes.
17. Not being geniuses.
18. All the books titled The ______’s Daughter and The ______’s Wife.
19. Vibrators shaped like cupcakes.
21. Disney princesses.
22. Real princesses!
23. That thing where dudes get an extra half of a seat on the subway for their balls.
24. Not having mandatory paid maternity leave.
25. Having an unemployment rate higher than it was at the beginning of the recession, thanks to the public sector jobs lost in budget cuts.
26. The lines for public restrooms.
27. Doing the lion’s share of child care and house work, even if we have full-time jobs, then being told we chose the wage gap.
28. Getting raped because of skirts and heels, alcohol, “the hormone levels in nature,” and social media.
29. Creepshots.
30. Girls Gone Wild.
31. Revenge porn.
32. Honor crimes.
33. Dowry deaths.
34. Purity balls.
35. “Peak nubility.”
37. “Women’s suffrage and individual freedom are incompatible.How’s that for an unpopular truth?”
38. “We Saw Your Boobs”
39. TitStare
Yup. There’s that and I got 99 reasons for thinking the Patriarchy is alive and well and Hannah Rosin is not one of them. Wanna wait and see what happens to a Hillary Clinton Candidacy in a few years now that the bro got in before the ho? Think things will change? Nope. Me Neither.
Rape Apologia, Objectification of Women’s Bodies, and State Ownership of Women: Where does it end?
Posted: September 4, 2013 Filed under: Violence against women, War on Women, Women's Rights | Tags: institutional sexism, violence against women 19 Comments
Recently, there have been scads of news stories and legislative actions that make me fear for the present and future of girls and women. I really wanted to not front page the Cohen WAPO piece because it was such an obvious piece of slut slamming and rape apologia that I could hardly bear to read it. There have been hundreds of good rubutals that remind us that in America, no woman or girl is truly safe. Many of us are not safe in our homes. It is likely we are not safe in our schools or workplaces. We are not safe in parking lots and streets. We are still subjected to all of the mythology around “asking for it” which includes our past sex lives, our clothing, and our drinking/drug habits.
Framing a piece about rape around the perpetrators of a crime, rather than those who have been the victims of that crime, is a sign that the entire argument needs to be refocused. Rape victims are frequently erased in discussions of sexual assault that focus solely on the perpetrators (in 2011, the Onion aptly parodied this dynamic in a video entitled “College Basketball Star Heroically Overcomes Tragic Rape He Committed”), which is offensive to the people who have been subject to those sexual crimes.
During the Steubenville rape trial, for example, the media spent most of its time lamenting the fact that the perpetrators’ “promising football careers” were going to be thrown into question by being convicted of rape. That sparked massive backlash, but editorial pieces continue to be guilty of perpetrating this dynamic. A recent piece published in the Atlantic argued for the need to “change the preconceptions and misconceptions that society has when it comes to pedophiles” because not many people “think about the millions who grapple with sexual feelings on which they can never act.” And a Washington Post op-ed published over the weekend suggested that teachers who have sex with students shouldn’t be punished so harshly because those poor teachers probably thought it was a consensual relationship.
We’ve written about these horrible stories that infer girl children some how want to be raped and “boys are just be being boys”, I have to admit that the Montana Judge who handed out a light sentence to a rapist whose 14 year old victim took her life was just about the worst thing I’ve seen in a long time. Oh, and he’s apologized.
A Montana judge has apologized for claiming a 14-year-old girl was “as much in control of the situation” as a former teacher who admits raping her.
Yellowstone County District Judge G. Todd Baugh also said Monday teen Cherice Moralez was “older than her chronological age” while sentencing ex-teacher Stacey Rambold to serve just 30 days of a 15-year prison sentence.
Moralez killed herself in 2010 with the case still pending, and her mother claimed the abuse by Rambold was a “major factor” in her daughter’s suicide, the Billings Gazette reported.
The mother, Auliea Hanlon, stormed out of Monday’s sentencing, shouting “You people suck!”
Baugh has reconsidered his comments, although not the sentence. He wrote an 81-word letter to the Billings paper apologizing for his statements.
“In the Rambold sentencing, I made references to the victim’s age and control,” Baugh wrote. “I’m not sure just what I was attempting to say, but it did not come out correct.
“What I said is demeaning of all women, not what I believe and irrelevant to the sentencing. My apologies to all my fellow citizens.”
Raise your hand if you believe that! I recently quit playing some on-line games where the “boys will be boys” attitude and the crude, awful comments about women’s bodies, gay men, and women in general just became too much for me. There appears to be very few men that understand there’s a line between joking about sex or being bawdy and degrading women. They also all live in fear of gay men and gay sex which still reminds me that what they all fear is that gay men will treat them they way they treat women. Oh, did I mention these jerks have wives and daughters and of course mothers. I got every excuse from “well, I tell my daughter all men are pigs” to “you don’t seem to have a sense of humor” and “you’re okay joking about sex, what’s the difference?”. I’m getting to old for this. It’s the same shit I heard and saw when I was a preteen, a teen, a young woman, until right here right now.
When will men say to each other this is not the way you treat another human being?
So, given all of the crap we’ve seen these past two years coming out of state legislatures who seem to think they also own our bodies and lawmakers talking about “real” rape or “rape” rape versus their own personal version of she asked for it, I came across this news article. Diana the Hunter is said to be on a killing spree and she’s taking out rapists in Northern Mexico.
Authorities are seeking a woman accused of killing two bus drivers in northern Mexico amid claims that the murders were committed by a vigilante avenging rapes, officials said Tuesday.
Local media have received an anonymous message signed by “Diana, the hunter,” claiming to act as “an instrument of vengeance” for the sexual abuse committed by drivers in Ciudad Juarez, a border city with a dark record of violence against women.
Arturo Sandoval, a spokesman for the Chihuahua state prosecutor’s office, told AFP that the email, sent over the weekend, “has been included in the investigation.”
Witnesses said a woman wearing a blonde wig shot the drivers in the head after stopping the buses last week. Sandoval said prosecutors believe they were either crimes of passion or motivated by vengeance.
The drivers were working on a route used by women who work in assembly plants known as “maquiladoras,” and who regularly suffer sexual abuse as they head to their night shifts.
Authorities are investigating 12 cases of female passengers allegedly sexually assaulted by drivers. Investigators are looking into whether the killer is among the women.
Officials are also investigating any links with an arson attack against a bus at dawn on Tuesday. The vehicle was set ablaze after gasoline was poured on it, said Fire Chief Ramon Lucero.
The anonymous message from “Diana” stated: “My colleagues and I have suffered in silence, but they can no longer keep us quiet.”
“We were victims of sexual violence by drivers who worked during the night shift at the (plants) in Juarez. While many people know about our suffering, nobody defends us or does anything to protect us,” it said.
“They think that we are weak because we are women,” the message said, warning that there would be more deaths.
“I am an instrument of vengeance.”
Authorities have drawn up a profile of the suspected killer and launched an operation to find her with undercover agents in buses.
Witnesses describe her as a woman in her 50s, 1.65 meters tall (5-feet-four), with a dark complexion.
When the justice system fails you, when the legal system fails you, when the nation’s largest and most respected newspapers fail you, when the men in your life fail you, it is really easy to think bout cheering on that “instrument of vengeance”. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to no longer need to take back the night? Wouldn’t it be great to be able to play a game or work some where or go into a bar without continually having to be on guard? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could get a group of women together in a room and there would be at least one of us that wasn’t either raped, beaten, harassed, or threatened simply because she is a woman?
Today’s perpetrators are the Government of Texas, most elected Republican officials, a good number of Churches and pastors, the judicial and criminal justice system, the military and the men who do not call out other men when justice and wrong is done to women. Until justice is ours, I actually have to say that I would like a world wide army of Diana the Hunters.
The Panic Room: Republicans just can’t figure out what Women Want
Posted: August 17, 2013 Filed under: War on Women, Women's Rights | Tags: Republican Party Summer Meeting 8 CommentsThe GOP has a woman problem. It also believes it has a 2016 Hillary Clinton Problem. There’s been this talk of rebranding, reinventing, reinvigorating, and
remessaging Republicans. The deal is that Republicans are vested in deliberately misunderstanding women. They met last week to once more show a large degree of mass confusion over why their pograme of sending women back to the world of no birth control, no work, and no opportunity just isn’t selling. The only women they seem to impress are the ones with Stockholm Syndrome.
“In the last election, Governor Romney won among married women by 11 percentage points, but he lost among single women by a whopping 36 points. With single women making up 40 percent of the voters, well, you can do the math. And the president won women by 11 points,” said RNC Co-Chair Sharon Day in her remarks at the panel. “The bottom line is we’ve got to make the case for more women leaders in this party.”
She’s taking the issue — and her role as party co-chair, which has sometimes been more of a figurehead position — seriously, heading off to New Jersey after the meeting to help train and encourage the 35 women running for state-level offices there, the largest number of women Republicans making such bids in any state in the country. The party has to start somewhere, and one things it’s emphasizing is the deficit of Republican women at the start of the pipeline of political leadership.
The question is, is the rest of the party taking the issue as seriously as her? Women at the gathering were not sure. Not sure at all.
“The messaging to women is really bad,” said Ann Stone, a pro-choice Republican and one of the founders of the push for the National Women’s History Museum. “There’ve been closed-door sessions where we’ve talked about how do we get the men to stop saying some of the things they are saying. It’s usually out of ignorance. They don’t understand what they’re saying is highly insulting, which is really sad.”
Day opened her remarks with a similar air of disappointment. “I’m really sad, to be honest with you, that there’s not more people in this room. Because again as women, we are the majority. And as women, there should be more women in this room. Every one of us should be in this room,” she said. “So that’s the first thing I want to say, just to make me feel better. This room should be packed. And it’s not. ”
Florida State Sen. Anitere Flores had a similar complaint. “This is a self-selected group of people who have come here, probably saying, ‘Yeah, you know, We know we have a problem. We need to fix it.’ But there are a bunch of other people that are in other meetings right now that maybe are thinking we don’t have a problem — we don’t really have to go listen to that,” she said, before apologizing. “I hope I don’t get into trouble for saying all of that.”
“There is a problem. There is a gap,” she said. “And we can’t just keep going around and saying we won married women, woohoo, that’s great….
So what does the party of birth control restrictions, abortion access restrictions, nonsupport of equal work for equal pay laws have to say for itself? Basically, Republican women tried to change the subject,
During a panel introducing the party’s “rising stars” moderated by RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, Karin Agness, founder and president of the Network of enlightened Women (NeW), spoke on the GOP’s need to reach out to young women on college campuses who might not feel comfortable expressing their views in organizations with a more “radical, feminist perspective.”
Agness shared her experience in promoting conservative values on progressive college campuses, and encouraged the audience and fellow conservative leaders to provide an alternative for young women who did not agree with the Democratic Party’s platform.
She also emphasized that Republicans should be talking about a variety of issues that women truly care about, and use new technology and local news outlets to “meet them where they are.”
“Women aren’t a unified voting bloc that’s going to vote liberal every time,” Agness said.
At a panel later Thursday afternoon about the importance of women in the Republican Party, Washington Times opinion
editor Emily Miller suggested Republicans needed to flip the rhetoric around about the existence of a “war” on women. “Do any of us in here feel like we’re in a ‘war’?” Miller asked.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t think this is the best way to stop a Hillary Clinton candidacy.
This is a very open thread.










Recent Comments