Mostly Monday Reads: The Pope says love is love but Wives are still property

René Magritte, The Lovers, 1928

Good Day, Sky Dancers!

In a century racked with hate and filled with violence, which has just gotten worse, it’s nice to see one small step toward acceptance.  It is just a small step but one worth noting because there really hasn’t been much of a big deal out of the Vatican since I was a kid. This Reuters headline sums it up. “Vatican approves blessings for same-sex couples under certain conditions.” It is sure to rile up those firmly rooted in the Dark Ages, but it is still so small that the entire concept of marriage as a man getting women as chattel and slave should be intact.

I always wondered why my GLBT friends would want to actually do the marriage thing, considering it still looks like one of civilization’s biggest insults to women and children. But then, they don’t have to deal with all the eons of history and tradition thrown at them like a bucket of shit when you’re the woman in the “man and wife” part of the deal.  I’ve always noticed it was the labels “man” and “wife” delineating the chattel status perfectly.  I join BB’s late mother in agreement when she said marriage is for men, having had a lovely Catholic wedding before Vatican II.  BB, like most daughters, has stories to tell.

It’s funny. I just saw this headline, having woken up today wishing that I’d never let my oldest daughter and sister bully me into my youngest daughter’s doing the usual Christian marriage thing to please the mother-in-law.  The oldest had her version, which was rooted in ancient Brahman rituals that I actually understood and could translate. However, it included playing out what was originally when the bride’s father handed over what he had to barter away as the bride price. My ex performed the ritual like an insurance agent wearing his blue suit and tie amongst all those saris and sherwanis. I sat in my sari, looking like a stuffed burrito, and just played along. The entire family always looked at me askew because I have a long history of not playing along, going along, or doing anything that perverts my deeply-held mistrust of rituals where you get to be the wife, and he still gets to be the man.  These tend to be full of ire-triggering events for me.

It was harder to play along when my oldest daughter and my sister bullied me into sitting next to my ex-husband and “saying we do” when the backwoods Louisiana preacher asked, “Who giveth this woman to this man?” I sat beside my ex-husband, sideways in the seat, with my back to him.  I mumbled we do and quickly ran to get alcohol to wash the entire thing out of my mouth.  I should’ve used soap.  My mantra the entire time this ceremony and day went on was the promise to myself that I would never see him again.  Especially, since he sneered and made faces at me the entire day. I dared to do and get everything I wanted since the day I walked out the door and drove down here to New Orleans while his voice still haunts me, saying, ” You’re too smart for your own good.”  Someone recently mentioned that it was ‘coded’. Yeah, you’re right.  I always remain hopeful that I never have to agree to attend one of these rituals again. Unfortunately, he and wife number 3 now live blocks from my granddaughters while I need a protection order.

Pablo Picasso, The Kiss, 1969

So, this pronouncement will seem radical to all the women who still want to have a high bride price and a daughter given away like chattel. Men, as usual, have nothing to worry about.  I’d just like to say that blessings are excellent when no one has any claim to your body and mind granted by the state and religion. Fortunately, as a Buddhist, my emotional state is not up for grabs by any outside source.

The Vatican said on Monday in a landmark ruling approved by Pope Francis that Roman Catholic priests can administer blessings to same-sex couples as long as they are not part of regular Church rituals or liturgies.

A document from the Vatican’s doctrinal office said such blessings would not legitimise irregular situations but be a sign that God welcomes all. It should in no way be confused with the sacrament of heterosexual marriage, it said.

And with that, I highlight the part where one hand gives you something and the other slaps your face.

It said priests should decide on a case-by-case basis and “should not prevent or prohibit the Church’s closeness to people in every situation in which they might seek God’s help through a simple blessing”.

The pope hinted that an official change was in the works in October in response to questions put forward by five conservative cardinals at the start of a synod of bishops at the Vatican.

While the response in October was more nuanced, Monday’s eight-page document, whose subtitle is “On the Pastoral Meaning of Blessings”, spelled out specific situations. An 11-page section was titled “Blessings of Couples in Irregular Situations and of Couples of the Same sex”.

Marc Chagall, Birthday, 1915

I wonder if there’s a section on the ritual of blessing animals?  Or sailors? Or Soldiers sent to kill people? Just wondering.  I did say this was a small step.  Maybe a minute step would have been an apt description.  But then, you have to know by now that I am not one who plays well with anything that calls any human connection an “irregular situation,” except maybe for Clarence Thomas and his irregular relationships with billionaires. Let’s move on to that.  He’s in an irregular marriage situation for many folks down here in the South, but he got more than a blessing, right? Remember when interracial marriage was illegal?  But then, she’s actually more of a curse.

ProPublica has the goods on him, yet again.  Can we just get a divorce from this guy? “A “Delicate Matter”: Clarence Thomas’ Private Complaints About Money Sparked Fears He Would Resign.”  Please, PLEASE resign, Uncle Clarence Thomas!  There are some hints MTG might do it!  So can you too, Mister Pricey RV!

In early January 2000, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was at a five-star beach resort in Sea Island, Georgia, hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.

After almost a decade on the court, Thomas had grown frustrated with his financial situation, according to friends. He had recently started raising his young grandnephew, and Thomas’ wife was soliciting advice on how to handle the new expenses. The month before, the justice had borrowed $267,000 from a friend to buy a high-end RV.

At the resort, Thomas gave a speech at an off-the-record conservative conference. He found himself seated next to a Republican member of Congress on the flight home. The two men talked, and the lawmaker left the conversation worried that Thomas might resign.

Congress should give Supreme Court justices a pay raise, Thomas told him. If lawmakers didn’t act, “one or more justices will leave soon” — maybe in the next year.

At the time, Thomas’ salary was $173,600, equivalent to over $300,000 today. But he was one of the least wealthy members of the court, and on multiple occasions in that period, he pushed for ways to make more money. In other private conversations, Thomas repeatedly talked about removing a ban on justices giving paid speeches.

Thomas’ efforts were described in records from the time obtained by ProPublica, including a confidential memo to Chief Justice William Rehnquist from a top judiciary official seeking guidance on what he termed a “delicate matter.”

The documents, as well as interviews, offer insight into how Thomas was talking about his finances in a crucial period in his tenure, just as he was developing his relationships with a set of wealthy benefactors.

Congress never lifted the ban on speaking fees or gave the justices a major raise. But in the years that followed, as ProPublica has reported, Thomas accepted a stream of gifts from friends and acquaintances that appears to be unparalleled in the modern history of the Supreme Court. Some defrayed living expenses large and small — private school tuition, vehicle batteries, tires. Other gifts from a coterie of ultrarich men supplemented his lifestyle, such as free international vacations on the private jet and superyacht of Dallas real estate billionaire Harlan Crow.

Precisely what led so many people to offer Thomas money and other gifts remains an open question. There’s no evidence the justice ever raised the specter of resigning with Crow or his other wealthy benefactors.

Banksy, detail, The Kissing Coppers, 2004

There’s so much going on here that I’m just gobsmacked. How could anyone not find that kind of money enough to live on? There’s a lot more to read if you wish. So, Trump continues to spew hate in his campaign to return to the White House to finish the damage he did before.  This is from the Washington Post. “Trump reprises dehumanizing language on undocumented immigrants, warns of ‘invasion’.”

Former president Donald Trump on Sunday accused undocumented immigrants of waging an “invasion” of the United States, in a speech that highlighted his frequent use of dehumanizing language and exaggerated terms to describe many foreigners seeking to enter the country.

During a campaign event in Reno, Nev., the clear polling leader in the Republican race blamed President Biden for what he portrayed as a dangerous incursion on the homeland — although many migrants detained at the southern border are parents and children seeking protection, and studies show that undocumented immigrants are less likely than U.S. citizens to commit crimes.

“This is an invasion. This is like a military invasion,” Trump said. “Drugs, criminals, gang members and terrorists are pouring into our country at record levels. We’ve never seen anything like it. They’re taking over our cities.”

Trump has drawn renewed criticism over his rhetoric toward undocumented immigrants, and on Saturday, he accused them in a speech and in a social media post of “poisoning the blood” of the country. That language has caused alarm among some civil rights advocates and immigrant groups, who have compared it to the writings of Adolf Hitler.

At some point, someone should mention his mother, an immigrant from Scotland, and his grandfather, Trump, who came here from Germany.  As far as I can tell, he’s technically a short-timer and has not been a very good addition to the country. Oh, right, he’s okay with wipipo.  Ask his NAZI friends like Nick Fuentes, who proffered this a week ago.   He actually called for executions for all non-Christians, so I guess Doctor Daughter’s family and I are in that same boat with the other “irregular situations.”   

The Kiss, TIna Lavoie, circa 1898

The Party of White Christian Nationalists continues its efforts to keep Abortion Rights off ballots in 2024. This is from Politico. “Conservatives move to keep abortion off the 2024 ballot. “We don’t believe those rights should be subjected to majority vote.”  The first rule of owning chattel is not to allow them to vote on anything that might actually give them the idea that they aren’t the state’s property.

Conservatives are testing new tactics to keep abortion off the ballot following a series of high-profile defeats.

In Arizona, Florida, Nevada and other states, several anti-abortion groups are buying TV and digital ads, knocking on doors and holding events to persuade people against signing petitions to put the issue before voters in November.

Republicans are also appealing to state courts to keep referendums off the ballot, while GOP lawmakers in states including Missouri and Oklahoma are pushing to raise the threshold for an amendment to pass or to make it to the ballot in the first place

The emerging strategy aims to prevent abortion rights groups from notching their third, and largest, set of ballot measure victories since Roe v. Wade was overturned. And while conservatives celebrated the fall of Roe for returning the question of abortion rights to the people, these efforts are seen as an implicit admission that anti-abortion groups don’t believe they can win at the ballot box — even in red states — and that the best way to keep restrictions on the procedure is to keep voters from weighing in directly.

The actions follow abortion-rights victories in Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan and Ohio, and underscore abortion opponents fears’ that their monumental victory overturning Roe v. Wade is being undone one state at a time.

“I do not want to see abortion put in our constitution,” said Rep. Brad Hudson, a Missouri Republican. “I believe the right to life is a fundamental right that all human beings have and certainly should not be taken away because of a vote by a simple majority.”

Hudson filed legislation for the new session, which begins next month, that would require constitutional amendments to pass with a statewide majority and a majority in more than half of the state’s eight congressional districts. It is one of several GOP proposals around the country that would undermine efforts to approve abortion protections at the ballot in 2024 — though changes to the initiative process would need to be approved by voters.

Anti-abortion advocates and Republican state attorneys general in states like Florida, Missouri and Nevada, are challenging the initiatives in court as unconstitutionally vague, confusing or misleading. And in multiple states where abortion-rights initiatives have passed, conservative groups and politicians are suing to block their implementation.

Dimitri Vrubel. 1990, The Kiss. “My God, help me to survive this deadly love.” A kiss between Brezhnev and Honecker. Over the years, history has referred to this act as the socialist fraternal kiss and it occurred in 1979 on the occasion of the 30th anniversary of the German Democratic Republic (GDR). The protagonists of this kiss were Leonid Brezhnev, the Soviet leader, and Erich Honecker, the president of the GDR. The act of kissing was not a coincidence, but a tradition of the socialist states. In this way, through this, what the two leaders wanted was to create a kind of ritual with which the two representatives of the states sealed their alliance and their agreements to guarantee order through the military authorities.

Just one last long read for you today.  It certainly is a Blue Monday. This is from The Reframe’s A.R. Moxon.  I would just like to remind you of the real irregular situations, which include abuse by many a clergy. “No Beliefs, Just Intentions. Victims of abuse create language to name both abuse and abusers. Inevitably, abusers use that same language to deny what they’re doing. Navigating false equivalence in an age of rising fascism.” I’m thinking about a trigger warning here but maybe that should imply to my entire post today because I’m writing this while being triggered.

I’ve been discussing bully tactics of abusive narcissists, and the way those tactics map almost perfectly to the ways that supremacists of all kinds mediate their violence through denial, accusation, and reversal of victim and offender, in order to establish their supremacy, entrench it, popularize it, and justify it.

Today I’d like to think about the way supremacists deny.

Here’s what I notice. There are people in power who are actively pursuing supremacy, which is the popular belief that some people matter and all other people do not matter and aren’t even fully people, and probably need to be eliminated for the safety of people who matter. These supremacists are enacting all the violence and menace and harm and abuse that always attends supremacy, because supremacy—a human spirit that believes most people don’t matter—is always inherently eliminationist and therefore inherently violent. And they are almost always doing it in the name of a desire for some good thing—in fact, in the name of the exact opposite thing that they intend; in the name of the exact thing they are working to destroy.

So I conclude that fascists and other supremacists find themselves easily able to claim to hold any beliefs at all—even beliefs whose goals they are actively working against—because their only real belief is in their own supremacy.

Beyond that, they have no beliefs. They only have intentions.

So I conclude that intention is a matter of what is actually done, not what is claimed.

I’d suggest this means that it is very important to pay attention to what is actually done.

I’ve just come to the place where I realize that if Trumplicans take over again, I will be in a railroad card to somewhere unpleasant with all my Jewish friends. Muslim friends, GLBTQ+ friends, and Feminist Friends.  I am too smart for my own good, and I am an irregular situation in an irregular situation. I am here to hold your hand if that describes you, too.  We are all in this together.

What’s on your reading and blogging list today?

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by