Monday Reads: All the News from the District Of Derpistan

Good Morning!

Ever read something on the news or see it on TV and just wonder wtf were they thinking when they asked that?  Fox New’s Chris Wallace asked “confirmed bachelor” Lindsey Graham why he hasn’t gotten married.  Is that the dumbest question you’ve ever heard or is Fox really trying to convince its audience that Lady Lindsey is really just so overwhelmed with family love he’s never needed sex of any kind?

F0x News host Chris Wallace told Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) on Sunday that he wished that he could put him on the “psychiatrist couch” to find out why the 59-year-old bachelor had never been married.

Last week, a Washington Post profile of the South Carolina Republican noted that Graham had helped raise his sister after his parents died while he was in college.

“Some of your friends suggested that might be the reason you never got married,” Wallace observed during an interview on Fox News Sunday. “We can’t put you on the psychiatrist couch. But those traumatic events, how did they shape your life?”

“It made me realize that the promise of tomorrow is just a promise,” Graham explained. “It taught me how much I was loved by the rest of my family. My aunt and uncle helped me raise my sister. Social Security survivor benefits coming into my family made a world of difference.”

“I understand we’re all one car wreck away from needing help, but what it told Lindsey Graham above all else is that family, friends and faith really do matter,” he continued. “And I’m a lucky man to have all the support I’ve had all these years.”

Graham, who said that there was a “91 percent” chance that he was running for president, insisted that he was trying his “best to pay back a country who has been so good to me.”

I guess he’s part of an “ambiguously gay duo”.
In his attempt to insult every one in the country, Rand Paul went full metal jacket isolationist.  That ought to really thrill Republicans and their defense industry donors.  He did manage to hit Hillary Clinton first.

Rand Paul ripped into his hawkish rivals for the Republican nomination Saturday, suggesting that problems in the Middle East would actually be worse under them than President Barack Obama.

“There’s a group of folks in our party who would have troops in six countries right now — maybe more,” the Kentucky senator told hundreds of activists at a GOP cattle call that has drawn every major presidential aspirant. “This is something, if you watch closely, that will separate me from many other Republicans. The other Republicans will criticize Hillary Clinton and the president for their foreign policy, but they would have done the same thing – just 10 times over!”

The Kentucky senator went on the offensive against the militarists in his own party – using his strongest language on the subject since formally kicking off his candidacy two weeks ago.

Speaking of the 2012 attack on the U.S. diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Paul asked: “Why the hell did we ever go into Libya in the first place?”

“Everyone who will criticize me wanted troops on the ground, our troops on the ground, in Libya,” he said. “It was a mistake to be in Libya. We are less safe. Jihadists swim in our swimming pool now. It’s a disaster.”

While you’re checking for jihadists in your swimming pool, please don’t forget the communists under your bed!  This has to be a vanity campaign like his father always ran.  No one can hold this many unpopular opinions and be a viable candidate for national office.

So, I’m only going to briefly mention this one because I’m still dumbfounded about MoDo and her seeming hatred of all things with a vagina but most of all Hillary Clinton. Why on earth does the NYT let her go one like this? The NYT Op Ed page is like a parade of the worst of the written word these days.

THE most famous woman on the planet has a confounding problem. She can’t figure out how to campaign as a woman.

If you can stomach it, you’ll read a barrage of how Clinton’s first campaign was shaped by men who Svengalied her into the Iron Lady.  Then, you’ll find the unicorns at the bottom.  Taylor Marsh calls modo a “sexist spinster” railing at “granny” going straight for the title of the op-ed of Granny Get Your Gun.  Marsh then has this to say.

Yo, bitch, Hillary isn’t campaigning “as a woman,” she is a woman campaigning. For commander in chief, I would add, but that’s too confusing for Maureen Dowd. If she was a modern woman in any respect she’d understand how ludicrous worrying about resurrecting “bitch is the new black” is, because watching Hillary Rodham Clinton make Republicans squeal like little girls is the essence of this chant.

I really want to end this here because MoDo really needs to find a nice nunnery to get thee to quickly.  Why is the NYT paying for this kind of drivel?

So no post on derp would be complete without something about Piyush Bobby Jindal (PBJ).  He and the frothy one are saddling up their hatefest and going to the holy land to do some rolling with Tony Perkins.  I’d say it’s about time we just throw up our hands and recognize that our Lt. Governor has been governing the last few years.  Jindal’s just a gadfly on the religious right’s ass.

For the second time this year, an anti-LGBT hate group is hosting a trip to Israel that will feature prominent figures from the Republican Party. The event will also feature Fox radio host Todd Starnes.

On October 27, the Family Research Council (FRC) will host its first ever eleven-day “Holy Land Tour” — a “unique, one-of-a kind tour” where guests will “explore the land of the Bible and the roots of our Christian faith” and meet with “some of Israel’s political and religious leaders.”

According to the tour’s brochure, the $5,000 trip features “insightful Bible teaching” and meetings with Israeli leaders aimed at providing guests with “a better understanding of Israel’s important role in current geopolitical affairs and biblical prophecy.”

The tour will feature a number of “special guests” including former Senator Rick Santorum, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R), and Fox News commentator Todd Starnes, who has a history of acting as FRC’s mouthpiece and peddling and-LGBT rhetoric on Fox.

Bend over and take it in the Red Sea governor.  Take it for Jayzus and your hopeless quest for the White House.

And with that, I leave this open thread to you.  What’s on your reading and blogging list today?