It’s about rights, not helplessness

There’s a bit of a flap going on because a famous person named Cynthia Nixon said she’s gay by choice. (Full disclosure: I’ve never heard of her. I only visit this planet now and again)

Saying it’s a choice is supposed to be very bad because it falls into a “right wing trap.” Everybody must say gays are born that way, that they can’t help themselves, that it’s-not-their-fault-they-found-it-that-way. Otherwise wingnuts can insist that re-education could work.


Any kind of sex between any kind of people who can freely and knowledgeably consent is nobody’s business but their own.

The point isn’t whether you have a choice or not. That has nothing to do with it. The only point that matters is that nobody gets to tell you what kind of sex to have. Or not to have.

The only real “right wing trap” is granting the crazy premise that it’s okay to meddle in somebody else’s sex life if you can. Because that’s what the Aravosises of the world are doing. They’re saying it’s genetic, so they can’t help it, so give up already. Which means that if they could help it, then meddle away.

Again: bullshit.

People who freely and knowledgeably consent and are doing nothing to hurt others have a right to do anything they damn well please. Genetics and choice have nothing to do with the basic right to mind your own business.

Just because some gay people have made their stand on illogical ground is not Nixon’s fault. All she’s done is shine a light on it.

(I’d tell you to go read my chapter on Rights, but you know that already, don’t you?)
Crossposted to Acid Test


23 Comments on “It’s about rights, not helplessness”

  1. DailyPUMA says:

    I’ve always found it ironic that those who claim to be the most spiritual pre-dispose with the notion that it is the sex organ that dictates how one should “feel”.

    • bostonboomer says:

      Excuse me? Did you intend that to be a non sequitur?

      • DailyPUMA says:

        You really are defensive, sheesh. The prior comment was not directed at you, it was directed at those, it’s pretty obvious who it was directed towards.

        lol, why do I bother posting.

  2. DailyPUMA says:

    Any News on the George Hartwig sentencing?

    • bostonboomer says:

      Huh? If you have news, share it. I have no idea who George Hartwig is. Another non sequitur?

      • bostonboomer says:

        For everyone’s info: George Hartwig is the man who murdered Betty Jean Kling’s daughter. I really wish people wouldn’t drop in and make random comments without explanation. I can’t find any news articles about it.

        I guess the subtext is that we SHOULD be talking about George Hartwig instead of Cynthia Nixon….according to “Daily Puma.”

      • DailyPUMA says:

        You seem to have a snotty attitude towards me or my comments, don’t know which one. Today was sentencing day for Hartwig. You only had two years to find out who Hartwig was.

        But since you didn’t, I guess it doesn’t exist.

      • bostonboomer says:

        I didn’t say it didn’t exist. If you had news about it why not post it. I thought you were being “snotty,” that that’s why I reacted as I did. You don’t comment here much and then suddenly you drop in with mysterious comments. If you have something to say, you should say it clearly and then people will be friendly. If you’re mysterious, you’ll get a different reaction.

        Your choice.

    • quixote says:

      Daily Puma, it’s not so much a snotty attitude as a “Huh?” attitude. I didn’t actually label this an open thread. Most off-topic discussions are interesting, but the thing that has BB, and me as well, rather nonplussed is that you comment as if what you’re talking about is the subject of the post.

      Since it isn’t, you generally want to include some info about why it’s interesting, and the background if there’s a chance some of us may not know what’s going on.

      This is an inclusive space, so we’d like to be included. That’s the opposite of snotty, which is the way we’d like you to be, too.

  3. bostonboomer says:

    Thank you Quixote. That makes all kinds of sense to me. I really wish nosy people would stop butting into other people’s private business. They can live in ignorance and hatred without trying to force the rest of us to participate in their disorders.

  4. purplefinn says:

    You’re making a lot of sense to me too. Kate Millett said in a lecture I heard, “Your sexuality is your own.” At that time I interpreted it as “no one else owns your sexuality – as in a partner or a spouse.” It’s that and much more.

  5. madamab says:

    Good for Cynthia Nixon.

  6. ralphb says:

    Cabarrus lawmaker calls for public hangings

    A Cabarrus County lawmaker wants to bring back public hangings in North Carolina as a deterrent to crime, and he says doctors who perform abortions should be in the line to the gallows.

    Republican Rep. Larry Pittman, who was appointed to the District 82 House seat in October, expressed his views in an email sent Wednesday to every member of the General Assembly.
    Pittman’s biography on the legislative website lists his profession as “pastor, shipping worker, company chaplain.”

    Wonder if this douche nozzle qualifies as a moderate? Of course, he would be a pastor!

    Cynthia Nixon’s sex life is nobody else’s business.

    • Minkoff Minx says:

      I linked to this in my late night thread coming up later…it is ridiculous.

    • peggysue22 says:

      I just finished a post on this nonsense, Ralph. Still have to format the material. One thing I did discover–Larry Pittman in addition to being a North Carolina Representative lists his occupation on the government website as : Pastor, Shipping Worker, Company Chaplain.

      Isn’t that special?

      Good piece, quixote. I read of this ‘controversy’ briefly. I don’t understand the need to give into the Right’s hangups on sex. As you said quite forcefully: Sex between two consenting adults is no one’s business–gay, straight, whatever. Take care of your own sex life and leave the rest of us alone.

      Wishful thinking, I know.

    • madamab says:

      This guy should be careful what he wishes for. He might find himself on the wrong end of a noose.

  7. Minkoff Minx says:

    There’s a bit of a flap going on because a famous person named Cynthia Nixon said she’s gay by choice. (Full disclosure: I’ve never heard of her. I only visit this planet now and again)

    Quixote, did you ever see Amadeus? Cynthia Nixon was the maid who was hired by Salieri to “spy” on Mozart. Remember the scene where she is crying saying she won’t go back because she is very, very frightened…

    Great post btw, I have another mini rant scheduled later tonight that goes well with your post. We both had the same thoughts going tonight.

  8. Sophie says:

    Because if we choose it, it’s not immutable and therefore should not be a protected category in discrimination. We choose our religions, don’t we?

    Two more thoughts…

    I didn’t choose this lifestyle–it chose me.

    Woman by birth; Lesbian by Grace. And if you happen to see Grace, tell her I said thank you.

    • bostonboomer says:

      I think people should just be allowed to be themselves, whether it’s a choice or something they’re born with. I’m sick and tired of all the religious freaks who think they have the right to judge everyone else and try to control other people’s behavior.

      Sick and tired, and fed up with it.

    • quixote says:

      Yes, that’s exactly the point I’m making here, “Genetics and choice have nothing to do with the basic right to mind your own business.”

      Freedom of speech doesn’t depend on a genetic inability to shut up. Freedom of religion isn’t limited to those who follow their mother’s creed. Freedom of movement doesn’t depend on having St. Vitus Dance. Freedom of assembly doesn’t depend genetic markers for extroversion.

      The right to be free of meddling in one’s sex life is a given, just like the other freedoms. It’s the meddlers who should be made to defend their interference. Which they can’t.