The National Enquirer accused Ted Cruz of having five mistresses, John Kasich somehow managed to offend both the overeducated and the undereducated, and Donald Trump’s campaign manager has been charged with assaulting a journalist. Expect roughly zero of those things to be mentioned tonight if all goes according to plan.

 Tonight’s questions will be coming from The People™ so we can safely bet on three things: 1) Donald Trump will accuse anyone giving him anything approximating a tough question as being a Republican establishment plant, 2) Cruz will answer the question he wished he was asked rather than the one he’s actually asked, and 3) Kasich’s answers will be roughly 80 percent less exciting than the list of side effects you hear during tonight’s drug commercials.

Nearly a month of jousting on social media culminated Tuesday in the arrest of a top Donald Trump presidential campaign aide on misdemeanor battery charges following a March 8 incident involving a reporter.

Michelle Fields, then with the online Breitbart News Service, alleges that Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski forcefully grabbed her at a news conference at Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter.

Lewandowski — who has denied wrongdoing and who the Trump campaign said will plead not guilty — turned himself in to town police just before 8 a.m. Tuesday, in what Jupiter Police Chief Frank Kitzerow described as “a very straightforward procedure.”

Lewandowski was issued a notice to appear on a misdemeanor battery charge. The New York City resident is expected in Palm Beach County Circuit Court May 4.

Fields filed a report with police within a week of the incident. On Tuesday, town police released surveillance footage of the alleged battery they said corroborated Fields’ claims, prompting them to file the battery charges.