Cry me a River, John

Okay, you probably had better things to do on a Sunday night than watch Lesley Stahl interview John Boehner on 60 minutes.   If you can stomach it, that link will take you to Agent Orange’s interview and some of his outrageous statements.  You can also get some short form critique at Politico.

The midterm elections and the prospect of being Speaker of the House have obviously turned this guy into egomaniac of the decade . Yes, that’s even given his stiff competition for the title up the Avenue.  I can only image that it looks like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade when Boehner and Obama are in the same room.  Just one big Giant Floating Head Fest!

We’re sampling some Boehners tonight. Try not to sniffle.

John Boehner thinks President Barack Obama is engaging, smart and brilliant but also remains smarted by the president accusing him of taking taxpayers hostage to secure a tax break for the rich.

In an interview with Leslie Stahl of “60 Minutes” for broadcast Sunday night on CBS, Boehner said Obama showed him “disrespect” by calling him a hostage-taker.

“Excuse me, Mr. President I thought the election was over,” Boehner said, according to a transcript obtained by POLITICO. “You know, you get a lot of that heated rhetoric during an election. But now it’s time to govern.”

I can’t imagine the Boehner definition of ‘govern’.  Boehner’s pledged to tackle the deficit  is achieved by adding a huge amount of unnecessary tax cuts to billionaires into the equation.  Boehner Economics: 2 – 1 + 4 = 1.  That kind’ve stupidity alone defines Boehner-the-red-nosed Speaker.  I’m sure he and Biden can sit around singing 99-bottles-of-beer-in-my-gut together and always come up a few kegs short of a brewery.

But, back to the interview.

Boehner: I listen. I’ve got thick skin. And a lot of words get said here in Washington. You just have to let ’em run off your back. The president was having a tough day.

Stahl: You’re so understanding.

Boehner: I have a tough day from time to time myself.

But later in the interview, it became clear that the president’s jab about hostage takers had bothered him.

Stahl: There have been moments of disrespect shown to President Obama.

Boehner: Well, there was some disrespect, I would suggest, that was shown to me yesterday by the president.

The most powerful Democrat and the now most powerful Republican are sizing each other up. They may have exchanged more words via television than in person. And most of them have been, shall we say, unfriendly.

Mr. Boehner was the one who urged Republicans in the house to vote as a block against all of Obama’s initiatives: health care, the stimulus and on and on. And he escalated the attacks during the campaign.

His strategy of defiance worked.

And on election night, in his victory speech, the public saw something they probably never expected from Boehner: it was called “the sob heard round the world.”

“I’ve spent my whole life chasing the American Dream,” Boehner said, choking up.

Can you feel the smarm tonight?   Evidently the American Dream includes zygotes but excludes a hell of a lot of living breathing thinking people.  Let’s analyze some Boehners.

It’s easy to kick somebody when they’re down. George W. Bush has dealt with more difficult issues than any president since Franklin Roosevelt. And I’ve told my colleagues it’s time that we go stand up for the president.

Let’s see, Franklin Roosevelt:  Dealt with insolvent Banks by shutting them down. Check.  Ensured no more Stock Market crashes caused by miscreant banks/investment firms by enacting Glass Stegall.  Check. Ended the Great Depression. Check.  Started the New Deal to get people back to work and ended elder poverty by enacting Social Security. Check. Helped farmers and homeowners avoid foreclosure. Check.   Drug into world war 2 by the Japanese , fought on two fronts, and ended world war 2 with a victory. Check.

George Dubya Bush:  Started the the Great Recession. Check.  Started the Bankrupt America tax cut program. Check.  Increased income inequality and deregulated securities so that we now have high long term unemployment, a huge market crash in both equities and homes.  Ushered in record level foreclosures. Check. Brought about  record level Long term unemployment.  Check. Bailed out insolvent banks and brokerage firms. Check.   Basically started World War 3 by declaring war on a Bedouin nation and unnecessarily invading its neighbors.  Passed off said wars, said recessions, said unemployment, and said deficit to the next dude. Check.

Wow, that’s sure sounds likes it’s in the same league of problems and level of problem-solving  to me. (SO NOT!)

And then there’s these major untruths, oops Boehners:

Make no mistake, a ‘yes’ vote on the Democrats’ health care bill is a vote for taxpayer-funded abortions.

Stem cell research must be carried out in an ethical manner in a way that respects the sanctity of human life.

I think that translates into, if you’re alive, you can just die and go to hell, vs. if you’re a two cell proto-human, we’ll do everything possible to ensure you’re allowed to kill and bankrupt every one in your path!!

The United States and Israel have a unique relationship based on our mutual commitment to democracy, freedom, and peace. Therefore, just as our commitment to these principles must be steadfast, so must our support for Israel.

Should we tell him that Israel’s kind’ve a socialist state and mention the kibbutz thing or just let him blather on?

They have called Operation Iraqi Freedom a war of choice that isn’t part of the real war on terror. Someone should tell that to al Qaeda.

Okay, raise your hand if you knew that there was no al Qaeda in Iraq until we invaded them?  Yes, all of you!!!  Good. You can see who you’re a lot smarter than, can’t you?

So, that explains why he finds the POTUS  “engaging, smart and brilliant”.  Boehner appears dumber than a post. Eggplants appear more “engaging, smart, and brilliant” compared to him.  Tangerines, however, lose the complexion contest.

Okay, so he’s not even Speaker yet and I’m already depressed.  We are sooooooo F’d.