I got a whopper for you tonight. Well, maybe not a “whopper” but dangit, I’m gonna try…just hope its, “gooder than grits.”
The clowns are in the Deep South tonight, fighting for those:
Fried Chicken Eatin’,
Jesus Freak vote.
Earlier today on CNN the headline read: Will the Deep South Deep Six One of the Candidates…it is no longer there.
Someone must have changed it to: Candidates play expectation game in Deep South primaries – CNN.com
That mysterious disappearing headline gave me an idea though… Now, I’ve got a game for you tonight.
See if you can spot the Onion article or Daily Show and Colbert links from the titles below.
You can follow the results of today’s primaries here:
And if you feel like preparing for any exit poll interviews with Alabama and Mississippi voters tonight, may I suggest these handy dictionaries and phrases sites.
Redneck Dictionary Learn ta speak redneck
BARD – verb. Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”
JAWJUH – noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck.”
MUNTS – noun. A calendar division.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts.”
IGNERT – adjective. Not smart. See “Auburn Alumni.”
Usage: “Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!”
RANCH – noun. A tool.
Usage: “I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh
bard a few munts ago.”
ALL – noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”
FAR – noun. A conflagration.
Usage: “If my brother from Jawjuh doesn’t change the all in my pickup truck, that things
gonna catch far.”
BAHS – noun. A supervisor.
Usage: “If you don’t stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is
gonna far you!”
TAR – noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn’t git a flat tar in my pickup
TIRE – noun. A tall monument.
Usage: “Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
Redneck Sayings Where you can catch up on phrases like: