Evening at the Circus: Deep South and Fancy Free!
Posted: March 13, 2012 Filed under: 2012 primaries, Live Blog, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Political Affective Disorder, polling, Republican politics, Republican presidential politics, Rick Santorum, SDB Evening News Reads, the GOP, U.S. Politics, We are so F'd | Tags: Alabama Primary, American Samoa, Hawaii Primary, Mississippi Primary 71 CommentsEvenin’ Y’all!
I got a whopper for you tonight. Well, maybe not a “whopper” but dangit, I’m gonna try…just hope its, “gooder than grits.”
The clowns are in the Deep South tonight, fighting for those:
Fried Chicken Eatin’,
Biscuit Soppin’,
Sheet Wearin’,
Dip Chewin’,
Gun Totin’,
Jesus Freak vote.
Earlier today on CNN the headline read: Will the Deep South Deep Six One of the Candidates…it is no longer there.
Someone must have changed it to: Candidates play expectation game in Deep South primaries – CNN.com
That mysterious disappearing headline gave me an idea though… Now, I’ve got a game for you tonight.
See if you can spot the Onion article or Daily Show and Colbert links from the titles below.
GOP candidates get all Southern with cheesy grits and catfish
Gingrich Takes His Stand In Dixieland
Gingrich Desperately Trying To Court People-Who-Vote Vote
Alabama governor: I voted for Santorum but I don’t endorse him
Is The South Too Republican For Republicans?
Polling in Deep South Has Posed Challenges
Republicans’ Southern Strategy
Santorum, Gingrich vie for Southern supremacy
The South’s turn: Romney, Santorum, Gingrich vie
Romney’s status could be clearer after Deep South primaries
Mississippi, Alabama votes test candidates’ conservative credentials
Mitt Romney, Jeff Foxworthy Joke About Hunting
Santorum comes from behind in Alabama three-way
Santorum accuses Fox News of ‘shilling’ for Romney
Gingrich Opens Door To Teaming Up With Santorum?
Poll: Romney leads three-way race in Texas — but would lose to Santorum one-on-one
The Santorum-Gingrich Stare-Off
You can follow the results of today’s primaries here:
Live blog of Election Day – CNN Political Ticker – CNN.com Blogs
Heads Up – The Dish | By Andrew Sullivan – The Daily Beast
And if you feel like preparing for any exit poll interviews with Alabama and Mississippi voters tonight, may I suggest these handy dictionaries and phrases sites.
Redneck Dictionary Learn ta speak redneck
BARD – verb. Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”JAWJUH – noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck.”MUNTS – noun. A calendar division.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts.”IGNERT – adjective. Not smart. See “Auburn Alumni.”
Usage: “Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!”RANCH – noun. A tool.
Usage: “I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh
bard a few munts ago.”ALL – noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”FAR – noun. A conflagration.
Usage: “If my brother from Jawjuh doesn’t change the all in my pickup truck, that things
gonna catch far.”BAHS – noun. A supervisor.
Usage: “If you don’t stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is
gonna far you!”TAR – noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn’t git a flat tar in my pickup
truck.”TIRE – noun. A tall monument.
Usage: “Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
Paris sometime.”
Redneck Sayings Where you can catch up on phrases like:
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