Wednesday Reads: Conveyance of Jello

Ra travels through the underworld.

I thought I was ready to come back, but I’m not…I feel myself going through the motions, driving and waking up and so forth. But there is a blandness about it, like the packs of vanilla Jello pudding that overwhelms the pantry, pudding that was meant for my mom…

You see she was unable to swallow pills, because of the varices veins in her esophagus…she took her medicine on a conveyance of Jello. My dad, thinking she would be around longer than a week after being put on hospice, purchased so many packages of Jello. So many.

It is all there, no one will eat it.

It remains there.

He will not get rid of the fucking Jello.

And I see it. Like I see everything, for the first time…in my life, without you Mama. And I cannot face this. I’m not ready.

31 Comments on “Wednesday Reads: Conveyance of Jello”

  1. RonStill4Hills says:

    I wish we could lessen your pain and grief. I don’t know how much it ultimately helps but we empathize and sincerely desire to be a comfort to you. I think that I speak for this entire community when I say that we love you and share your sadness.

    • bostonboomer says:

      You speak for me Ron.

      I love you so much, JJ. You’ve lost the woman who brought you into the world. Allow yourself to grieve. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

    • Delphyne49 says:

      You also speak for me, Ron. Grief can be so excruciatingly painful – please remember to take care of you with the same love and tenderness you gave your mother. ❤️

    • dakinikat says:

      Those are my feelings too. Thank you. We love you JJ. XOXO

    • Enheduanna says:

      Well said, Ron. It does capture how I feel. Please take care JJ! ❤

    • NW Luna says:

      Ron speaks for me also. My heart aches for you.

  2. quixote says:

    Lord, yes. I sort of forgot about that. The food was the worst. My mother had casseroles people had brought her, still in the fridge. I couldn’t bear to throw anything away either. Throwing the food away was almost worse than the funeral. I finally had to ask someone else, after about twenty years had gone by, and I knew I didn’t remember what was in the boxes, to go through it for me so I wouldn’t remember, and do the throwing out for me of the things without obvious value.

    Like everyone here, I wish we could all sit with you. Or at least figure out how to send you edible dinners.

  3. Joanelle says:

    Or hold you tight so you could feel our love.

  4. Joanelle says:

    WordPress, fooey

  5. roofingbird says:

    Your comments strike me near. I hope you will keep them in your journal of writing.

  6. Sweet Sue says:

    I’m so sorry, JJ. I’m sending my love and reminding you to be gentle and good to yourself.
    Donate the Jell-O to a food bank.

  7. dakinikat says:

    • Enheduanna says:

      Lookie buried way way down in the article:

      :But it wasn’t until Democrats took control of the House in January that the chamber passed a law approving the additional money.”

      But it’s “Congressional” dithering. Uh-huh.

    • quixote says:

      God, this is all just straight out of 1930s Nazi visions of the ideal world. Smiling blondes on top of the world, subhuman brown people gone by any means necessary, handicapped people don’t exist (and if they do, ve haff vays of dealing with that).

      The part I just cannot fathom is that the movie is being replayed before the other one even faded from living memory!

      (Some) humans are idiots

  8. NW Luna says:

    We’ll have to see if this passes the Senate. Not holding my breath.

  9. NW Luna says:

    Love this woman!

    • quixote says:

      She is just so astronomically *good*. The most competent, charismatic person who could be running for Prez. I think very highly of Harris and Warren, but Abrams is a country mile ahead of everybody.

      God, I wish she was running. God, I wish the Democrats had been smart enough to join in behind her and she was the only one running.

      And then we could actually focus on piping the kakistocracy into the sewage treatment plant where it belongs.

    • RonStill4Hills says:

      I love her. I supported her in Georgia and will support her if she run for National office.

    • dakinikat says:

      yeah. and this one ain’t gonna be pretty. We’re going to see farm bankruptcies like the 80s… only politician with a plan to take care of that is Elizabeth Warrren too … woman’s got a policy for everything!

  10. NW Luna says:

    Ya think? Also, look at the reporter’s use of “outsized role” for women and black voters.

    Joe Biden’s treatment of Anita Hill poses new problems as he ponders a presidential campaign

    As Biden inches toward a 2020 presidential run in which women and black voters will play an outsized role, some are urging him to extend a personal apology to Hill, something he is not believed to have done in the nearly 30 years since the hearing took place. Others are calling for him to publicly demonstrate that he understands he made mistakes at the time as chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee.

    But few are satisfied with his remarks about Hill at an event in New York Tuesday night, at which he said he still regretted he “couldn’t come up with a way to get her the kind of hearing she deserved.”

    “He hasn’t accepted the ownership of the fact that he was the most powerful person in the role and in the room at that time,” said Toni Van Pelt, president of the National Organization for Women. “I think that he has a hard time because he doesn’t really completely understand yet. He is still protecting his gender.”

  11. bostonboomer says: