Sunday Reads: No Moore… #MeAt14

Well, when I was 14 years old, I had to wear a back brace. The corset kind, that came down over my hips and half way through around my ass. It was quite a surprise for all those teenage boys who felt the “urge” to carry out their “need” to slap ass…they got a hand full of hard plastic and most of the time a little pain with the shock that what they expected to feel…it wasn’t there.

The same thing happened when my science teacher in ninth grade went to slap my ass…

He was taking aback by the hard plastic, my ass wasn’t as soft as the few other girls in the class. The other ones who also had his affectionate pats of encouragement. One girl in particular, who was a repeat victim of his assaults…felt she could not go to her mom because her her mother was in the process of getting a teaching job at the school. She thought it would jeopardize the mother’s chances of getting an offer to teach, if her mom had to deal with a current teacher’s sexual harassment.

I spoke out. I told my dad. He called the school and talked to the science teacher himself. My dad got the confirmation straight from the asshole himself. Yes, he was grabbing his young female student’s inappropriately. He agreed, if he did it one more time, to anyone, my father would notify the authorities. If he started to single me out or treat me in any way different because of their “discussion” …my father would notify the authorities.

It worked. He stopped. At least as far as I knew…at least in our class. For the remainder of the year. My friend..her mother did get the teacher job at that jr. high school. Even at that age, the connection between employment and speaking out on sexual harassment was ingrained into a fourteen year old girl.

This whole turn of events, I’d forgotten them…

It all came back to me yesterday while my mom and I where eating dinner and we were talking about so many things making headlines this past week. I even had to call my dad to see if he remembered talking to that asshole teacher… and he did. My dad laughed about it. I think back now and wonder if maybe we all should have spoken out about what was going on in that classroom.

Me at 14. Me at 15. It never stops. The continued assault and harassment is never ending. Me at 47. Still.

Here are some links via twitter. I’m still doing this post from my phone. It sucks.

https://twitter.com/lizzwinstead/status/92976642919234764

Go to Twitter and look up the #MeAt14 hashtag.

https://twitter.com/christinawilkie/status/92920190047773491

This is an open thread.

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30 Comments on “Sunday Reads: No Moore… #MeAt14”

  1. Pat Johnson says:

    Me at 14: a Catholic High School freshman in a uniform who babysat for extra spending money. One of the men who I babysat for asking me what I looked like under the uniform and could he “take a peek”. A 30 year old man who told me that Catholic school girls were “hot stuff”.

    A young girl without a father at home who had been trained from birth to honor and obey those in authority who quite frankly had not been exposed to this kind of talk before in her young life.

    II told my mother. She acted immediately by addressing the man in question and ended my “employment” right then and there. However, she said something that stayed with me my entire llife: “they are all the same. You need to be on guard. Never find yourself in a position where you may feel compromised. Your reputation is at stake”.

    So in other words it is always up to the female, regardless of age, to be on high alert. This is the llesson women have lived with for centuries.

    IIt is never men being told to stay in their own lane but women being instructed in how to avoid ttheir desires.

  2. Thanks for this post MM! It is really something looking at 14-year-olds. That was the year my parents divorced and me and two sibs moved in with mom and her live-in 38 year companion, who ended up harming us all, molested me. I left home with him at 15, just had braces on my teeth removed. If my parents hadn’t been so incapable at that time it wouldn’t have come to that, but oh well, we all were blindsided, and like in a Greek tragedy, our personality weaknesses help shape the outcome. It took me 4 years to grow up enough to escape that “relationship”. Good reminder of just how young and mentally unprepared I was to deal with it all (not that I really need to be reminded of how easy I was to manipulate). I feel lucky to have survived. It is always a shock to see just how young a 14 or15 year old is. By age 16, I was supporting that very ill individual. Wish I had a way of getting paid back for all that labor that took me away from having a normal childhood and development. I guess the blessing of life is a reward. Almost didn’t get through that time.

    • Minkoff Minx says:

      Exactly, I was vocal at 14…it is something for me that a year later I would be raped by a friend of mine…and never say anything to anyone until I was over 25 years old.

  3. bostonboomer says:

    Quite a few memories have been coming back to me too, JJ. It’s amazing how women have had to put up with harassment throughout our lives. It’s a baseline level of stress that underlies everything we do. It’s nice to be old and somewhat solitary, because I don’t have to deal with that anymore.

  4. NW Luna says:

  5. Enheduanna says:

    JJ – Powerful post.

    I would not have known about the #MeAt14 hashtag otherwise. I’m averse to social media for a lot of reasons but I do see the good in it as well.

    My worst experience at or near that age was walking home alone from school one day through the (very nice) neighborhood I lived in (Garden Hills, Buckhead, ATL) – in 1969 or 1970. A greasy guy in a (not new) Cadillac pulled up beside me and asked directions to Peachtree Road, which was two blocks away. I knew immediately he didn’t need directions. He was so skeevy I immediately stiffened and sure enough he pulled out what looked like a sex toy and asked me if I knew what it was. I said no and backed up (luckily I was on the passenger side of the car). I then turned and started up the driveway, which was not my house. He drove off. I considered reporting it to someone but figured by the time I got home he’d be long gone..

    I’ll never forget one second of that or what he and that car looked like even though he never touched me. There was no one else around on the street and he had obviously been stalking me for a little bit.

  6. NW Luna says:

    We all have our stories. So many stories.

  7. Enheduanna says:

    Doug Jones could possibly win against Roy Moore (!):

    https://shareblue.com/dem-candidate-who-went-after-kkk-surges-ahead-of-accused-pedophile-in-al-senate-race/

    One poll is favoring Jones by 4 points.

  8. quixote says:

    A great one in the #MeAt14 series seen on the web: “I was madly in love with an older man. He was 16.”

    From what I remember of 14, thirty year olds were, like, ancient. I’m not sure I could have reliably distinguished 30 and 50 year olds. I mean, they were dads for God’s sake. Walking antiques.

  9. Minkoff Minx says:

    Uh…what could this be

    • NW Luna says:

      Putin’s hacked everything?

    • bostonboomer says:

      I just saw that on Twitter. Now I have to stay up until I find out what it is.

      • NW Luna says:

        Story was already reported earlier. OK, it’s an awful story, but considering everything since 11/8/2016, it’s far from the worst.

  10. NW Luna says:

    God Should Sue Roy Moore

    “Blazing with self-righteous indignation toward others is often what people use to hide their own sins in the shadows,” Elnes said. “This is probably why Jesus’ biggest problem — by far — was with the self-righteous. When it came to those whom society cast away as ‘sinners,’ Jesus was repeatedly gentle, gracious, encouraging, and forgiving, but he continually castigated the self-righteous.”

  11. NW Luna says:

    The Clothesline Project — women speaking out. (Although I hate pink.)

  12. dakinikat says:

    Okay, here are my friends and me in 1970 or so. We’re all between the ages of 14 and 16 so just right in that range of the rapey pedophilia dreams of Judge Roy. We were in 8th grade.

    jr high folk singers

  13. dakinikat says:

    Book Reviews
    RAPED BY CARL JUNG, THEN MURDERED BY THE NAZIS
    But the theft and erasure of Sabina Spielrein’s intellectual legacy by the psychoanalytic establishment may be an even more troubling crime
    By Phyllis Chesler

    http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-arts-and-culture/books/248785/sabina-spielrein-carl-jung

  14. dakinikat says:

  15. dakinikat says:

    Has Evangelical Christianity Become Sociopathic?

    http://churchandstate.org.uk/2017/05/has-evangelical-christianity-become-sociopathic/

    Since Evangelical Christianity began infiltrating politics, officially in the late 1970s, there has been a disturbing trend to limit or remove rights from those who don’t meet the conservative idea of an American. Many of these initiatives come in the form of “religious freedom” laws, which empower discrimination, while other legislation targets immigrants who believe differently. The result has been a sharp division in American culture, and the redefinition of Christian theology.

  16. bostonboomer says:

    Here’s the Spencer Ackerman story:

    https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

    • NW Luna says:

      Ooops, I posted up above without reading all the way down.

      I was expecting some expose about Trump instead.

      • quixote says:

        Indeed. Against a background of treason and crimes of state some murder and embezzling feels like page 10 stuff. (Not that it is, of course. Especially to the poor man’s family and friends. It’s just that it doesn’t actually have national implications.) Ackerman should have at least said “A mere scoop. Nothing to do with any Dumpsters.”

  17. NW Luna says:

    Read them the riot act in the comments section of this survey.