Sunday Reads: Gas Mask Love, A Toxic Overload 

Good Afternoon

There is nothing like a bit of toxic love between two people…or between two countries, for that matter.

So, here’s to some toxic acidity to get your gears turning.

Earlier this week, on Joyce Arnold’s Facebook feed, she posted this quick thought:

It really made me think. Not at once, I saw the thread and carried on my day.

It stuck with me however because earlier that morning I had seen this on my Instagram feed:


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Sometimes it takes balls to be a woman.

It is a sentiment that I’ve repeated myself, and to others…and I will admit that I never really thought much about it. But this morning, it bothered me. It really got to me, irritated me. I saved it in my Instagram feed. I saved it too in my Pinterest folder especially made for topics to write about on the Sky Dancing Blog. This was before I read that little post from Joyce. (Yeah, maybe that is why Joyce’s thread hit me, I don’t know.) But with my lower than average reaction time, it wasn’t until the next day I think when it all registered.

As Joyce said:

Joyce L. Arnold That whole need to make being male to be the norm, the standard for being human …

Fuck yeah.

If you want to put it into a cultural aspect, let’s look at something from television. I thought about a scene from Veep from a couple of seasons ago…‘Veep’ Season 4 Finale Recap: Ma’am Up – The New York Times

It was when Selina realizes that the election is a tie.

This is what Amy says to her:

Here we see yet again the depth of Selina and Amy’s relationship. When Selina learns that Tom James could replace her as president, Gary stands to offer a hug. But Selina, in tears, turns past him and his outstretched arms, past her daughter, Catherine — and collapses into Amy.

Amy looks utterly uncomfortable with the sudden display of emotion. But, in her own way, offers the encouragement that Selina needs, telling her that with all due respect, she needs to get her act together. “Ma’am up,” says Amy. “You’re still the leader of the free world, hmmm?”

And these are the words that transform Selina back into the striving, climbing, ambitious, spotlight-hungry politician we recognize. Realizing that during her mini-meltdown, Tom James has taken the stage in an effort to provide the increasingly restless crowd “a hit of political meth,” Selina springs to action.

The words Amy uses is “Ma’am up” and to me that is a perfect way to show an example of use in a particular show that can sometimes make some feminist writers peeved and angered.

That phrase, was it uttered in connection with the use of the word Ma’am as the correct way of addressing the office of the President? Or was it one feminist telling another…get your shit together, without relying on the male significance as definition of power and success? I don’t know. But what ever you want to call it, I like it. And from now on it is something I intend to use. Am I wrong?

Maybe it comes down to intersectionality?

On the same day…I also saved this:

Please read the explanation in the description on the instagram itself.

And then, there is this….but calling it “sublime.”  I don’t think so. How absurd. Look at the expressions on these women’s faces:

To that I wonder….does it take balls to live that kind of life? If we put it into that perspective, what color balls?

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Just a few links for you all:

Trump to offer exclusive contract to service U.S. student loans | Reuters

Foreign leaders told to praise Trump on election win: report | TheHill

Red With Envy: A Feminist Anthropology of Republican Policy – Ms. Magazine Blog

SPLC, other civil rights groups challenge wealth-based bail system in impoverished Alabama county | Southern Poverty Law Center

Trumpcare and the Return of Rape and Domestic Violence as Pre-Existing Conditions – Rewire

This Photo Series Highlights Chicanas Who Are Proud to Be Malditas

These Ethiopian superheroes fight for girls’ rights in badass new TV series



Women pioneered computer programming. Then men took their industry over. Via Timeline.

How “computer girls” gave way to tech bros

Those articles should give you something to do to pass the time.

I will end this thread with a sample of illnesses for admittance to the “nut house” if you were a certified “nut job” back a couple of centuries ago:



Why look at that! How many of those are suffered by women?

Go figure, it sure doesn’t take a set of balls for that.

This is an open thread.

18 Comments on “Sunday Reads: Gas Mask Love, A Toxic Overload ”

  1. Minkoff Minx says:

    I hope this thing makes sense. This is a bad week for me…for my family. It is a year since Denny died. And Bebe graduates this week too. It is all too much.

    • dakinikat says:

      Ah, thinking of you, your family and sweet angel Denny!

      • Minkoff Minx says:

        It is debilitating Dak. I plan on writing long post, but when it gets down to it…I can barely get the ambition up enough to post a few pictures and links.

        • quixote says:

          But they’re such excellent pictures and links! (I’m not being funny. I mean it.)

          I wish there was some way to make things easier for you. There never is, though, is there? So, for all the good it does, all I have is {{{hugs}}}.

        • bostonboomer says:

          Your posts are always wonderful, JJ because of your artistic nature and sense of humor. I look forward to them.

          Thinking of you and Denny today. Anniversaries are hard.

      • RonStill4Hills says:

        I like the alternatives “ma’am up” and “level up”, and whatever folks we happy to say. But I am not entirely comfortable with the dismissal of “man up” as a gender specific and biased idea. I have always taken it as a statement about men and boys. Boys in trouble are supposed to look for a responsible adult, Men in trouble are supposed to BE responsible single adults. I don’t want the implied “grow the fcuk up” to be lost in the gender politics.

  2. Egyptian Power puff girls! I love it! Thanks for your empowering thoughts today.

  3. dakinikat says:

    • quixote says:

      Wow. I knew he was a sleazebag. It’s written all over him. But I thought he was just an ordinary, Wall St. financier sleazebag. There’s not one of that cabal who isn’t a criminal, is there?

    • Enheduanna says:

      I just watched the Robert de Niro film “The Wizard of Lies” last night on HBO. I recommend it because it focuses on the damage Madoff did to his family. Michelle Pfieffer plays his wife.

      These guys have severe empathy issues. I think they’re just wired that way.

  4. dakinikat says:

    Some of us are discussing this Smithsonian Magazine article after the entire drama we’ve had over taking down the Lost cause monuments to the Confederacy.

    They dealt with stuff back in the 90s when they put up a simple statue to Arthur Ashe. I think it’s worth a read.

  5. dakinikat says:

    Swiss cheese for brains also cancelled a thing in SA. No Stamina!

  6. dakinikat says:

  7. old old-boy says:

    As to the ‘balls’, there was once a bumper sticker for women’s rugby, ” It takes more than leather balls to play rugby”.