Sunday Happy Muthas DayPosted: May 8, 2016
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Muthas out there!
I hope everyone is feeling well, healing well from their surgeries, traveling safely, staying cool, taking care and enjoying life on these early weekends of May.
All the others who are in situations where things are not so pleasant, I hope you are dealing with the shit as best as you can…and somehow planning to make a change or at the very least, coming up with creative ways to say “fuck this fucking shit” as you carry on with your day.
This being Mother’s Day and all, there is a wonderful post up at Wonkette, I wish I could quote the whole thing…be sure to go and read it all, okay?
I thought it would make a real nice conversation starter…
First the post and then the question, here it is:
I forgot to run this on May Day, so now it is your official Mother’s Day post! Ignore that first line. Hell, ignore all of it. IF YOU LIKE MY MAMA’S WRATH.
And so today is May Day! We can have — or heave! — a cocktail for the working man. We can put on Our Marching Zapatos of Ocupado Justice! We can do lots and loads of things! But me, I’m missing mi mamacita communista. She didn’t die or anything, she just retired and moved back to Oklahoma, where they still (unaccountably) haven’t burned her for a witch.
These are things my mother taught me.
* The dog can drink out of the pool.
* It’s best if the babies are naked.
* Protesting is fun! Marching is better!
* It is our patriotic duty to cuss loud and creatively. Lenny Bruce wants us to stick it to the squares. For America. And the children.
* Good names for America’s pets and children include Rosie, Emma, Fidel and Diego, and any of her children who don’t comply will have their kids’ and pets’ names changed unilaterally. Rodents should be named after baked goods.
* The best name for getting arrested under while demonstrating is Emma Goldman.
* Good places to get arrested are the Nevada Test Site, Diablo Canyon, and the mean streets of Thousand Oaks, California, during Gulf War 1.
* Bad places to get arrested are on warrants for failure to appear.
You can see it is going to be advice that is heavy on the theme of “May Day”, but these are some key-points I loved…
* How to choose a losing candidate.
* The names of a high proportion of local flowers and trees.
* There’s no need to hold a grudge for more than a couple of hours, unless your friend is 100 percent right and you are 100 percent wrong, in which case you may stay angry for the next 15 years.
* Un pueblo unido … can never be divided!
* I should not wear whore shoes. (She finally gave up on that.)
* Good places to pick fights are at parties and in line at the grocery store.
* There is never an inappropriate time to talk politics.
* It is better to have a kid who cusses than a little prig who goes “ooooh I’m telling” when someone else does.
* If you don’t take your kids to parties and restaurants and concerts and galleries and city council meetings, you are loosing an idiot on the world.
* All the words to the 1930s lullabye “Lilac trees,” including the spoken coda: “And then the little pickanniny [!] boy got sick and died, and all the little white children were sorry they didn’t play with him.”
* Just try not crying yourself to sleep every night after that!
* If you love Martin Luther King in 1961 Oklahoma, boys in your high school will threaten to “make you dead.”
* Down with Whitey.
* And the Man.
* And most women too!
I leave the best parts for you to discover…so please go over to Wonkette and do that…
Anyway, I thought we could post a few words of wisdom from our mothers, you know, down in the comment section below.
Here are a few other tips from mothers you may enjoy:
Like this clip from AbFab, BBC One – Absolutely Fabulous, Series 2, Birth, Mother’s Advice
The BBC sitcom Absolutely Fabulous stars Jennifer Saunders as Edina, the wealthy and erratic, chain smoking PR consultant. Her friend Patsy Stone, played by Joanna Lumley shares her deluded world of glamour. In an effort to bond with her daughter, Eddy offers Saffy some relationship advice.
Patsy’s relationship advice? “Be careful of wigs.”
More motherly advice from Rose, Loretta’s mother….
Do you love him Loretta?
Good. When you love them they drive
you crazy cause they know they can.
But you like him?
Another bit of advice….
So, what sort of advice did your mama give you?
This is an open thread of course, be sure to post whatever kinds of links you want!