Wednesday Reads: GOP to Check Out Tampa’s UFO? And The Goat Man Chronicles, Part Two.

Good Morning

I’m not feeling very well, so today’s post will be mostly links, be sure to take a look at them…some of them are fantastic.

First, we will begin with the GOP and Tampa’s UFO. There is a strip club in Tampa, West Tampa…around where I grew up. It is near the corner of Columbus Ave and Dale Mabry….Columbus being the center of Latin cuisine in West Tampa, it is also called Boliche Boulevard, after a Spanish beef roast stuffed with ham and chorizo.

This strip club is called the 2001 Odyssey…and it is complete with a semi-detached UFO that you ascend to via the stairs in the back of the club. Photo by Google Earth.

See, I wasn’t joking. And look Google has blurred out the folks going in to the club.  Hey, when they get shots of women naked on their Street Views, do the blur those out too? I don’t think so.

Anyway…Tampa strip clubs take extra steps to cash in on RNC

Strip clubs may not be the most politically correct venue for those attending the Republican National Convention, but that doesn’t mean Tampa’s well-known adult hot spots won’t be ready for the influx of visitors.

One place is bringing in a stripper who looks like former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. There are major renovations taking place. And some nude clubs have already been giving potential customers a taste of the talent online.

“Not only can you see the dancers on the stage and in the dressing room, you can also talk to them in an online chat room,” said Don Kleinhans, owner of the 2001 Odyssey on North Dale Mabry Highway.

I remember back when the CPAC was going on earlier this year…the popular attraction was the homosexual hook-up classified ads on Craig’s List. Perhaps some of the other clubs in Tampa need to be getting their female impersonators well versed in the Palin of the Northwood’s mannerisms.

So, here are some layers of links, I guess you can think of this post like a club sandwich. (I know I’ve used that metaphor before, but damn…I am still on this diet and you have no idea how difficult it is.)

Romney Adviser: Obama Doesn’t Understand Our ‘Anglo-Saxon Heritage’

WTF does that mean?

An adviser to Mitt Romney told a London paper that Obama has not been an effective partner for Britain because he doesn’t “fully appreciate” America’s “Anglo-Saxon heritage.” The racially tinged comments come hours before Romney lands in London for a series of high level meetings and the opening of the Olympic Games.

Ha, no comment…I will just sit here and shake my head back and forth. Ass.

Wisconsin Republican: Voter ID law could help Romney win

Wisconsin state Sen. Glenn Grothman (R) said Sunday that a voter ID law could help Mitt Romney win the state in the upcoming November election, implying that voter fraud only benefited Democrats.

“I think we believe that insofar as there are inappropriate things, people who vote inappropriately are more likely to vote Democrat,” he told Scott Keyes of Think Progress. “I think if people cheat, we believe the people who cheat are more likely to vote against us.”

Grothman’s comments echo similar sentiments expressed by Pennsylvania House Majority Leader Mike Turzai (R) in June. Turzai said Pennsylvania’s voter ID law was “gonna allow Governor Romney to win the state.”

Republicans in state legislatures have pushed for more restrictive voting laws to combat alleged voter fraud.

Double Ass…

Don’t Just Blame Fox & Friends For Awful Lemonade Segment (It’s The Parents’ Fault Too)

This morning, upon entering the office, I found that Mediate’s industrial-strength eye washer (purchased back when we worried Anthony Weiner might get his own show) was in use. You see, my poor colleague Alex Alvarez had been subjected to this: one of the dumbest segments ever on a news channel. In case you missed it, Fox & Friends did an entire segment this morning in which they desperately tried to get a four year old girl to say her scripted lines about why President Obama is bad for America. In addition to insulting their own viewers to a comically extreme extent (What else do they think there fans will appreciate, political analysis from a shiny piece of tin foil?), Fox & Friends creepily used a couple of children barely old enough to spell the words “fox” or “friends” just to make a cheap political point. But, hey, lets not just put the blame on a TV show that, at this point, we know doesn’t know any better. Let’s share that blame with the people who signed the release forms. The parents!

RELATED: Fox & Friends Politicizes Little Girls’ Lemonade Business

Unfortunately, I was already familiar with the story of the Sutton family and their free market-loving lemonade stand. No, it wasn’t because I’d stopped in for a delicious refreshing drink/lecture on small business growth. It’s because already did an article on this story last week. Because of course they did. I mean, why would you waste a story this important on just one platform?!

And, since it was published on the 17th, the Internet has been viciously mocking this quote (emphasis mine…as well as the several billion Tumblr users who have already reblogged and made fun of this):

“Clara Sutton, 7, and little sister Eliza, 4, started CoolBlast Lemonade in their suburban Houston neighborhood, and quickly generated business brisk enough to bring on another employee, younger brother Erik. Their father said the kids have gotten a business education right out in front of their home under the watchful eyes of their parents — but with no help from the government.

‘Nobody helped them except us,’ Andrew Sutton, 35, said. ‘They did it on their own.’

Wow…that is a shit load of Asses on the curvy couch. I do love what the come back to this crap is:

Yes, nobody helped them. Nobody except their parents who bought all of their ingredients with money the children didn’t have. You know, just like the way the free market works. Don’t worry, it makes sense. The parents are “investors.”

Anyway, the man who apparently doesn’t understand irony is the girls’ father. Presumably, he’s the one who made the YouTube video that first got Fox’s attention and this is the last I’m going to mention him. Because this column isn’t just about this one parent. It’s about every parent who forces their kids to puppet political talking points that the children can’t possibly understand. Obviously, I can’t tell anyone how to use raise their children, but, just like the infamous “puppet dad” clip from last March, this kind of coaching and exploiting is just plain creepy.

Geez. Triple Fox and Friends Ass.

Ah, we get to the middle slice of toast in our club sandwich.

Gallery | Cuban crocodiles born at DC zoo

Matt Evans, supervisory biologist at the National Zoo's Reptile Discovery Center, holds a 13-day-old Cuban crocodile hatchling in Washington. Two crocodiles hatched from surprise eggs laid by a 50-something-year-old Cuban crocodile at the National Zoo in June 2012.

Matt Evans, supervisory biologist at the National Zoo’s Reptile Discovery Center, holds a 13-day-old Cuban crocodile hatchling in Washington. Two crocodiles hatched from surprise eggs laid by a 50-something-year-old Cuban crocodile at the National Zoo in June 2012.
More pictures at the link, but here is Proud Mama:
When scientists discovered mothre Dorothy had laid eggs, they took great care to incubate them for months. Only two of the eggs hatched successfully, the first Cuban crocs to do so at the zoo in nearly 25 years.
When scientists discovered mother Dorothy had laid eggs, they took great care to incubate them for months. Only two of the eggs hatched successfully, the first Cuban crocs to do so at the zoo in nearly 25 years.
Ah, that piece of toast has a bit of a bite to it, must be a nice hardy pumpernickel…yes?
Now for the other portion of the club…this is the good stuff.

The aim of this essay is to look at the ideas of various scholars and researchers in their published books and articles on Beowulf and related material. The poem in question is an Old English manuscript which has been preserved in only one copy. There is no solid date or authorship for the poem and little is known about its origin. Therefore, all statements put forward about the poem’s provenance are mere speculations. It is to be expected that different scholars have different opinions on the matter. This gives an opportunity for many debates, not to mention if additional information about the manuscript comes to light in the future. However, every reader must follow his own conviction and beliefs and measure the truth and accuracy of his mission.

As an admirer of stories as a whole, a romantic believer in adventures, a truth-seeker and a person intensely curious about our ancestors, I now put forward my own musings about the poem. The question of the truth of the narrative is an interesting one, mainly the existence of the ancestor warrior Beowulf, his battles and life. Furthermore, I believe that oral tradition was performed in the Middle-Ages in a story-telling manner and served as a popular form of entertainment for the public. More importantly, these narratives, both verse and prose, were a way to preserve the history and customs of people both alive and deceased. Even in our times we still have individuals and societies that carry out this tradition. To support my opinion I submit the Scottish singer Duncan Williamson (1928-2007) and the tribes in the islands of the South Pacific.

The probability of exaggeration in oral stories passing from generation to generation is high, so we can accept that there is a danger of that occurring Therefore, although I believe there is truth to the story in the account of the events, I draw the line with the supernaturally strong warrior Beowulf and the evil mystical beings in the poem; I assume they are fictional and the result of exaggeration.

Terry Jones: the Python, the owl and the pussycat

Terry Jones in his sitting room

Not really an opera lover … Terry Jones in his sitting room. Photograph: Graeme Robertson for the Guardian

Terry Jones doesn’t rate the poetry of Edward Lear. “The Pobble Who Has No Toes? I think it’s lazy nonsense. The one where the man ends up blowing up his entire family? Rather distasteful. And the limericks are a bit feeble. I think he used nonsense to cover up the fact he didn’t have anything to say. ”

So when the actor, director and former Python was asked by the Royal Opera House to write a libretto based on the Victorian rhymer’s The Owl and the Pussycat, to be staged on and by London’s rivers and canals as part of the Cultural Olympiad, he struggled. “I mean, the word ‘runcible‘ – it doesn’t mean anything. I think nonsense should have some meaning. Michael Palin‘s lyrics are better than Lear’s.” Worse, the poem seemed devoid of drama. “They just sail in a pea-green boat with plenty of money and honey, and they get married and dance by the light of the moon. The only drama is, ‘What shall we do for a ring?’ and that’s solved by having a wood in which a piggy-wig stood.”

Jones, now 70, is a veteran at turning animal-based nonsense into comedy gold, however (think of the Pythons’ fish-slapping dance). So how did he tackle the libretto? By doing what everyone else does when they revive a franchise – writing a prequel. Like Batman Begins, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace and X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Jones’s version of The Owl and the Pussycat takes us to the story’s roots, when the psychic wounds were delivered that made the owl and the pussycat flee an unfeeling society into exile, to a land where – talons and claws crossed – they would not be judged for their taboo-breaking trans-species relationship. “What interested me was how they got together. There must have been some tension. So this is the prequel, and at the end of the opera they jump into the pea-green boat and set sail.”

I love the painting of him…playing the piano nude!

Colbert Pays Hilarious Tribute To Fox News’ Shepard Smith

“Nation, as you know, I am a long-time fan of Fox News,” the host began. “It’s my one-stop shop for news, opinions, and ads for walk-in bathtubs. […] Some criticize Fox News as a stable of old white angry men. That’s ridiculous. Michelle Malkin is a young, Asian angry woman.”

“But even amongst Fox’s exotic Noah’s Ark of white people, one beautiful unicorn stands out,” Colbert continued. “Anchor and Mantis-American Shepard Smith. He’s no cookie-cutter newsman. He’s got his own style. For example, watch how Bret Baier reported on a February campaign stop by Mitt Romney.” The comedian then played a clip of Baier reporting with characteristic conciseness.

In contrast, Colbert showed an edited clip of Smith “cut through those same facts to find the real angle.” The clip shows Smith talking with Fox’s Carl Cameron, who was in Ohio with Romney talking to a crowd behind him. Smith interrupted Cameron’s report to say, “I’m sorry, Carl, I’m looking at [Romney] over your right shoulder there. Do you think he’s aware he’s wearing mom jeans? He’s wearing mom jeans, Carl. It’s 2012.”

“Shep was the only one on Dungaree-Gate,” Colbert said. “It was the biggest scoop since David Brinkley told the story of J. Edgar Hoover wearing mom everything.”

Video at the link…

And finally, thanks and big h/t to Kathy aka Delphyne who sent me this link: ‘Goat Man’ Is A Hunter: Utah Officials

Oh yes, it is a follow-up:

State wildlife officials have identified the man who has been spotted dressed in a goat suit among a herd of wild goats in the mountains of northern Utah.

Phil Douglass of the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources said Monday the mystery man is a 57-year-old hunter from Southern California.

Douglass told the Standard-Examiner that the hunter called officials and provided enough information to put their curiosity to rest. Douglass says he didn’t ask for a name.

The man told Douglass he was preparing for an archery hunt of mountain goats next year and testing a goat suit. Douglass says the hunter came to Utah because he heard it was easier to get near goats for training.

The man described his suit as a hooded painter’s uniform and a fleece.

Last week, conservation officials said that “Goat Man” might be in danger of being shot by hunters or attacked by real goats. But this week, they’ve changed their tune after Douglass met the man.

“I’m satisfied that this was a person preparing for a hunt and did it with knowledge and experience,” Douglass told The Standard. “Hunters do some amazingly creative things to be successful.”

Well, that is it for this morning…the Nyquil is really kicking in now. I have some cartoons for the evening reads. So be sure to catch that post later. Ciao!

14 Comments on “Wednesday Reads: GOP to Check Out Tampa’s UFO? And The Goat Man Chronicles, Part Two.”

  1. Pat Johnson says:

    The “beauty” of Fox News is that they speak concisely and precisely to their target audience who is there to accept every morsel of non fact thrown their way. Just like the parent of a toddler telling them exactly what to think without having to put their own critical thinking skills into action.

    Where to go to be told the president is a lying commie, corrupt, Muslim loving, non Christian racist? Fox of course will “explain it all”.

    Where to go to be told that internment camps, gun seizures, European style takeover is in the works? Fox News has it covered!

    Where to find your fact free talking heads who twist, contort, and spew their talking points through the prism of fear mongering fools? Keep your dial set for Fox News all day, every day for some of the most warped analysis ever offered up to a towering audience of sheeple.

    I get my edition of Fox News straight from the genius of Steven Colbert. It saves a lot of time and effort and a migraine or two I might add.

    Fox has captured the low information voter who would suck this crap in unaware that the policies they are being fed will only serve to their detriment if enacted.

    Fair and balanced? Not so much.

  2. bostonboomer says:

    Congratulations on solving the “goat man” mystery. But is it legal to hunt mountain goats? I wonder what the purpose of hunting them would be? Are they good to eat?

  3. RalphB says:

    “Anglo-Saxon heritage.” They’ve put away the dog whistles and started blowing trumpets to announce Rmoney’s grand whiteness. That’s just fucking pathetic.

    Dear Mitt Romney, Please Stop Embarrassing Me

    • bostonboomer says:

      I’m working on a post about this. I’m still in shock from reading the Telegraph article last night. It’s beyond belief!

  4. Fannie says:

    This is about Romney courting the overseas votes….read the part about overseas voters who have never been to USA

    • RalphB says:

      Those who haven’t ever been to the US can vote for him without worry, perhaps.

      • Pat Johnson says:

        Has it ever occurred to anybody that without the hypocrisy gushing forth out of the Romney campaign they would have nothing whatsoever to talk about?

        The flat out lies and distortions made by him and those working on his behalf to convince voters that “this is the guy to lead” is nauseating.

        The current GOP leadership and those from the Tea Party are some of the most unintelligent, fear mongering, hateful excuses to ever emerge on a national stage.

        And this is what half the population considers worthy of consideration? As if Michele Bachmann and Alan West weren’t abhorent enough, this gang of vultures throws out statements that are so inflammatory as to be treasonous.

      • RalphB says:

        Pat, It occurs to me every time I think about Rmoney. I used to wonder how anyone could lie so shamelessly about just everything until it finally dawned on me, that’s all he’s got. If not for the teahadist insanity, no one would take him seriously, except his 0.001% donors.

      • RalphB says:

        Oh and the fact that Rmoney might actually wind up president just scares the crap out of me.

  5. RalphB says:

    A brilliant post by Charles Pierce riffing on a K-Lo lunatic piece about James Holmes being possessed by the devil.

    The Devil Made Him Do It