Why is Romney the Almost-Human?

Everybody — well, me, and Charles Pierce, and bostonboomer, and well, everybody — sees him as a stiff awkward robot with less charm than a Roomba.
Roomba robotic vacuum cleaner with lights on. Photo: benfulton, cc on flickr

Yes, that’s at least partly because he’s a rich guy who has to mix with the rubes on nothing stronger than caffeine-free Coke. And it’s partly because he’s been lying for votes for so long, it takes more and more time to get the right lies out of storage. A Roomba doesn’t have to do either of those things.

But, really, are those issues unusual for a politician? They all have to campaign among the manyheaded and sanitize their hands every few minutes. They all lie like tombstones, and we know it. So what is it with Romney? Why are the other politicians just doing what politicians do, but Romney gets called a robot?

I’m beginning to think that maybe it’s because he’s so bad at lying. It’s written all over his face that he doesn’t believe any of the drivel himself, that he’s reading his speeches to the proletariat because that’s what you have to do, that he’s going through the motions.

He’s such a bad liar, we can see him doing it. But truth-telling is so far off the table it’s in the Marianas Trench somewhere. That means we have to examine the only alternative. Good liars.

In the RE (Rove Era), elections are about piling on the most stimulating lies. For three and a half years we’ve had someone doing pretty much the diametric opposite of everything he campaigned on, and when he goes out campaigning now … people still believe him when he says the next four years will be different. He’s one of the best liars in all history.

It’s like a choice between being swindled out of your money or your house. Both alternatives are repulsive, but with a bad liar, we might be on our guard and actually get ripped off less. With a sweet-talking bamboozler, in Vastleft’s inimitable words, half the country accepts it while the other half demands even worse.

Crossposted from Acid Test


12 Comments on “Why is Romney the Almost-Human?”

  1. dakinikat says:

    I’m still watching Roseanne Barr and Buddy Roemer … no way I’m voting for Romney and if it looks like he has a chance and there’s more Republicans headed our way, I’d swallow everything and vote Obama for sure even though I wouldn’t be happy about it.

    • bostonboomer says:

      There is no chance in hell I’d ever vote for Romney. Yes he’s a bad liar, he’s a poor speaker, and he’s ignorant of most of what he would need to to be President–even more so than Obama ever was.

      I’ll say what I’ve said before: Obama sold out to Wall Street in 2008, and he kowtowed to them and is probably still kowtowing to them. Romney is a whole other animal. He IS Wall Street. He will do whatever he can to enrich himself and other people like him, and he won’t care who he stomps on while he does it. Furthermore, his foreign policy wll be a nghtmare! All you need to know is that he is close friends with Benjamin Netanyahu.

  2. ecocatwoman says:

    Wouldn’t it be nice if someone Clockwork Oranged Romney & made him watch tapes of his father? Seriously, he lived with that man so you think he would have learned something. I don’t think most of the self-proclaimed Crhistians in Congress are honestly Christian. They say it because it gets votes. But I do believe Romney is a Mormon-bot. He believes that crap & I would think there must be something in that religion about honesty & integrity. I could be wrong.

    I don’t think I’d say ALL politicians lie. There’s Bernie Sanders & Denis Kucinich. There might be a few others that I don’t know about. I don’t like the idea of voting for the moderate Republican now serving in the WH, but I know I can’t vote for Romney under any circumstances & I can only hope my vote in Florida will count.

    Hillary says she won’t serve as SOS in a 2nd term. Who will Obama appoint to replace her? No one will be able to do the job as good as she’s done.

  3. jawbone says:

    I’ve been realizing that one of the reasons Romney bugs me is that he sounds like a carnival huckster.

    But, of course, he may actually be a huckster-bot.

  4. ecocatwoman says:

    Aren’t they a “cute” couple: http://www.npr.org/2012/04/11/150437103/romney-and-ryan-a-budding-political-bromance

    OT – couldn’t help sharing this cute story from NPR’s ATC this afternoon: http://www.npr.org/2012/04/11/150445833/film-about-boys-cardboard-arcade-goes-viral This little boy is only 9 years old. And the filmmaker set up a website to raise money for his college education. I think they said he raised $60K the first day.

  5. quixote says:

    Hell. Hillary has been the one bright spot. Figures that she’ll bow out. I’m amazed a person of her talents has been able to work with that crowd as long as she has.

    And, yes, there are the occasional politicians who are worth the air they breathe. Endangered, though. Highly endangered. This was just meant to be a funny post, in an ZOMG-groan! kind of way, so I just glossed over details like that….

    As for November, Christ in a soapbox derby, I don’t know. I’m not voting for the Liar-in-Chief. I’m not voting for the Roomba-manqué That much I’m sure of. Other than that, I may just put a Vote Goat sticker on my car and leave it at that. In the real world, it doesn’t matter what I do. I’m in California, which is going to go for the Lesser-more-Effective-Evil regardless.

    • ecocatwoman says:

      Call me crazy, but I really do love Florida. It’s just the Republican Floridians that I’m not so fond of. I don’t like feeling forced, kicking & screaming, to vote for someone I don’t want to vote for. Unfortunaely, there won’t be a NOT ROMNEY box on the ballot. Wow – if we could do that, then every NOT ROMNEY vote would subtract a vote for him. That could make this contest truly interesting.

    • peggysue22 says:

      I share your amazement on the Hillary factor–not sure how she’s been able to put up with this slimy bunch. Sheer grit!

      As for The Liar-in-Chief, he is a wonder all right. Makes promises, breaks them left and right but keeps on promising like no one has ever noticed past transgressions. Glen Ford tagged Obama as brutally and truthfully as anyone I’ve read recently. Barack Obama is not the least of all evils; he’s the most effective evil because no other Democratic Prez could have dismantled New Deal policies as quickly without a peep from traditional supporters. They’re all too afraid of having the gravy train dry up.

      That’s not to say I’d ever pull the lever for Romney, the Flip-Flopper of the Age, whose only vision is sitting in the WH with his corporate cronies flocking around, kissing his ring.

      Our choices are a joke: two lizards, bought and paid for. One can lie like the best snake oil sales man around. The Other? He looks like his jockies are two sizes too small. Even when he smiles.

      Decisions, decisions. Not. I refuse to support this thoroughly corrupt system. I’ll go 3rd party.

      Good one, quixote.

      • northwestrain says:

        I think that Hillary is so involved doing her job that she is able to ignore the jack asses in the white house.

  6. Violet Socks says:

    I’m beginning to think that maybe it’s because he’s so bad at lying.

    It’s just the limitations of that first-generation positronic brain. Dr. Noonien Soong’s later editions were much better, I understand.

    • quixote says:

      Bwahahaha! Ah well. When the crew visited they did call it “the primitive, paranoid twentyfirst century.” Can’t expect Dr. Soong to leave the more polished models in a place like this.